You're Teaching My Child What? Read Free Page A

education tells kids to wait for marriage, and for many that message rests on moral foundations. As an Orthodox Jew, I share those values—but you won’t find me quoting Leviticus in these pages. I’ll leave that to parents and pastors. I write as a physician, and my approach is anchored in hard science.
    I wrote this book to tell parents they’re being conned by the sex education industry. These powerful organizations present themselves as guardians of our children’s health and well-being; they claim to provide kids with all the information and skills they need to make healthy choices. They assert they give your child the same message she hears at home: you’re too young—wait until you’re older. They claim their curricula are “science-based,” age-appropriate, non-judgmental, up-to-date, and medically accurate. And they believe they know better than you do what’s best for your kids, so you should trust them, the “experts,” and ignore your gut feelings.
    Wake up, America: this is one giant hoax. I know these groups, their values, and curricula. They are steeped in ideology, permeated with extremism. Non-judgmental? Sure, until they’re challenged with scientific facts. Point to the science that discredits their beliefs, and, well, you know the names you’ll be called.
    They do not give young people the same message as parents. Children are inundated from a tender age with a “sex-positive” message; they’re taught that sexuality is a life-long adventure, “who they are” from cradle to grave, and that the freedom to explore and express their sexuality is a sacred “right.” While teens are told that delaying sexual behavior is an option—and sure, it’s the only 100 percent certain way
to avoid infections and pregnancy—it is not presented as the healthiest choice, the one recommended by experts. Consider the views of Debra Haffner, a recent SIECUS president who is now a minister. Pre-marital sex is so essential, the Reverend Haffner appears to believe, that she’d “refuse to marry a couple who told me that they had shared no sexual behaviors at all.” 26
    The experts do not provide teens with all they need to know to make informed decisions, nor is their information medically accurate. They dismiss fundamentals of child development, and omit critical findings of neurobiology, gynecology, and infectious disease. HIV information is distorted. The psychological distress associated with teen sex, especially when followed by a genital infection, is whitewashed.
    The “experts” are wrong, and parents are right. Boys and girls have vast differences, sexual behavior is profound and consequential, and we reap immense benefits from self-restraint. Mom and Dad should trust their common sense, gut feelings, and traditional values. Children raised by parents who are moderately strict and voice clear expectations about delaying sexual activity, are the kids least likely to engage in harmful behaviors. Yes, that throwback excuse works: “I can’t—my parents would kill me!”

A 911 Emergency
    In the course of my practice, your sons and daughters have shared with me what life has brought them—what cards they’ve been dealt. They reveal their secrets: I lied to my parents. My girlfriend gave me herpes. My stepfather raped me. I want die.
    The worst part? When something awful happened that was 100 percent preventable. This category includes, but is not limited to, blisters or warts in private places, meaningless, regrettable sex, pre-cancerous conditions, age-related infertility. If only I’d known . . . , patients say. If only someone had told me .

    Parents, there are so many things your children don’t know. There are so many things they are not being told.
    Here’s the bottom line. We have an emergency here, a 911 emergency. Parents, educators, and health providers must