you, man.â
âYouâre kidding.â
âNope. I was at her brotherâs house today with the band. And her brother, Hunter, read us one of her poems. And guess what it was called? âOde to Cameron.ââ
Gagging noises from Cameron.
âSheâs really nuts about you. Listen to this. Are you ready?â
Sickening silence from Cameron, who is not at all ready.
ââIf thou wouldst croak, the snow would puke up yet another grave for me.â Or something like that.â
Awkward laughter from Cameron. âMan. Oh, man. Itâs bad enough that sheâs always staring at me in journalism class. Oh, man, this sucks.â
This scene is a lot more believable than my dumb Emily Dickinson fantasy. Its dialogue sounds completely real, while the other one sounded fake.
But maybe, maybe David will tell Cameron the real opening lines from my poem and Cameron will think theyâre good ? Maybe heâs secretly liked me all along and will be glad to know I secretly like him?
Kylee has gone back to her knitting, but I know sheâs still thinking.
âOkay,â she says when she gets to the end of another row. âOption number fourâwell, maybe this is just the same as my option number threeâis that you act normal around him tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and the day after that. I really donât think Cameronâs brother is going to talk to Cameron about you, and if he does, he canât say your poems are bad, because they arenât badâtheyâre wonderful.â
Did I mention that I love Kylee more than anyone in the world? I do have other friends. Sometimes I go over to Isabelle Abshireâs house to watch old black-and-white movies, because Kylee wonât watch anything that isnât in color. Sometimes Brianna Clark hangs out with Kylee and me; she once said weâre âsoothingâ to be around, but I know she really meant Kylee. But I love Kylee a thousand times more than I love either of them.
So Kylee just said my poems are wonderful. Despite the horribleness of everything that happened, down deepâwell, not even down all that deepâI still think theyâre wonderful, too.
âWhat ifâ¦â I begin, and then trail off. âKylee, tell me honestly. I know best friends are supposed to believe in each other, but theyâre supposed to be honest with each other, too. Do you really, truly, cross-your-heart-and-hope-to-die think my poems are goodâand not just my poems generally, but my Cameron poems?â
Without a moment of hesitation, Kylee nods.
âWhat ifâmaybe this is ridiculousâ¦â I say, even though I donât think itâs ridiculous because itâs what Iâve been planning to do ever since I made my big announcement to Hunter and the band this afternoon, just sooner than I thought.
âIn brainstorming, nothing is ridiculous,â Kylee reminds me.
âWhat if I published my poems somewhere? Somewhere really impressive? And then it wonât matter what Hunter said, or what Cameron might say, because a famous poetry magazine will be on record saying that theyâre fabulous. And Hunter will be like, Wow, I guess Autumn really can write, and I shouldnât have made fun of her. And Cameron will be like, Wow, I guess this majorly published poet is a girl Iâd like to get to know. â
Just this morning I wanted to be like Emily Dickinson and not publish my poems until after I die. A lot can change in a few hideous hours.
âNow youâre talking!â Kylee said, though maybe sheâs just so relieved that Iâm not going to change schools or drop journalism or run away that sheâs acting more enthusiastic than she really feels. But Kylee is a terrible liar, so I know she means whatever she says.
I let myself play out a new script in my head.
âHey, lil bro, is there a girl in your class named Summer or
Tim Flannery, Dido Butterworth