Without Looking Back Read Free Page B

chance, will you? They’ve only been here for an hour! Thanks to you, this is the last weekend I’ll have with them. Will you let me break the news to them gently at least?’
    Papa said something else, but it was drowned out by the pounding of Louis’ heart. He stepped back from the door, fighting for breath.
    By the time he heard the receiver slam down, Louis’ palms were damp and he could feel a cold sweat breaking out across his back. He took a deep breath and forced his hand up to turn the door handle, wishing his arm hadn’t started to shake.
    Papa was still sitting at the kitchen table, the phone was back in its cradle and he was massaging his foreheadwith his fingers, his face red and creased. Louis closed the kitchen door and leaned against it; Papa looked up. ‘Loulou, d’you think you could give me a hand with—’ And then he broke off. ‘What’s the matter?’ He started to get up.
    Louis slowly began to shake his head, and felt his eyes filling with tears.
    â€˜Louis . . .’ Papa froze, almost comical in his half-standing, half-sitting position. ‘Louis – oh, Christ, you were listening?’
    He nodded, holding his breath in an attempt to ward off the tears.
    â€˜Louis . . .’ his father said again, moving out from behind the table and coming towards him. ‘Don’t – don’t— Listen, I don’t want the others to know yet.’
    Blinking back tears, Louis cupped his hands over his nose and mouth as Papa came forward to grip him tightly by the shoulders. ‘Louis, listen – listen to me. Nothing’s been decided yet. Maman may still change her mind. I’m going to appeal against the decision. I’m going to fight this – I’m going to fight this, I promise you.’ He gave Louis a small shake. His eyes looked desperate, imploring.
    â€˜Please, Louis, I really want to wait a bit before I tell the others. I want to enjoy some of this weekend withyou without having it hanging over all of us. Don’t cry, my darling. It’s going to be all right – I promise you it’s going to be all right.’ His fingers dug into Louis’ shoulder blades.
    Louis pressed his hands to his face and sniffed hard.
    â€˜That’s it,’ Papa said desperately. ‘Come over to the sink and wash your face.’
    Louis splashed cold water onto his face while Papa hovered nearby. As he was drying himself with a damp tea towel, he heard the kitchen door open behind him.
    â€˜Millie!’ Papa exclaimed with false cheer. ‘Have you found your Barbie set? Let’s go and see what hairstyle you’ve given her.’
    There was a pause, during which Louis rubbed his face hard with the tea towel, carefully keeping his back to the door.
    â€˜Wait, Papa,’ Millie was saying as Papa presumably tried to usher her out of the kitchen. ‘What’s the matter with Louis?’
    â€˜Nothing!’ Papa exclaimed too loudly. ‘He just got a—some . . . some soap in his eyes while he was helping me with the washing-up. It’s fine, it’s all rinsed out now. Where’s Max?’
    â€˜In the
salon
.’
    â€˜Let’s go and see if he wants to play a game, shall we?’
    â€˜What game?’ Millie asked, distracted, and their voices disappeared down the hall.
    Louis lowered the tea towel and inhaled slowly, gripping the edge of the sink. He could hear Millie trying to persuade Max into a game of Cluedo. Waves of adrenaline still coursed through his body and it was an effort not to start crying again, but he knew that he mustn’t. If he gave the game away now, Millie would sob all night and Max would shut himself in his room and play loud music for the rest of the weekend. But the news took his breath away. He couldn’t believe that Maman had won the court case and they were only going to be allowed supervised visits with Papa at some ‘family