Penny continued, launching into a complete retelling of the entire night. I stood there, nodding and making the appropriate noises, but my heart wasn't in it. Sweet little Penny was getting everything I had wanted in life.
"And then, my mom and dad showed up and I knew something was going on..."
My family was gone. I didn't have any siblings, and all my older relatives had died off as the years passed. Since I had never married, I didn't have any other family. I had some good work friends, but many of them had their own families. I spent most of my evenings alone. As Penny gave every wonderful detail of the proposal, I couldn't help but compare our two lives. I felt I was coming up short. She was telling me all the things I had dreamed of having, but never would.
"The whole restaurant was full of our friends and family, and he just stood up in front of all of them to propose. It was so sweet of him to think of all of it," Penny finished. She had a happy, wistful look on her face. I could see wedding dresses and flowers already floating through her mind.
"I'm so happy for you, Penny." I picked out a bag of coffee and held it in the crook of my arm. "Congratulations."
"Thank you! I think we're going to have a June wedding. My niece will be just old enough to be the flower girl. I'll be sure to get you an invitation!"
"That is incredibly kind of you, thank you. I wish you all the best," I said, my voice cracking a little at the end. Penny was a sweet girl. I had even met her Jeremy once or twice, and the two of them seemed incredibly in love; it was my own lack of love and future that pained me. Penny had nowhere to go but up, and I had nowhere but down. I didn't want to hear any more of her perfect life. I was envious enough as it was.
"We'll have dancing, so be sure to bring a date," Penny added. I managed a smile and a nod. I knew I wouldn't have a date. I could try, but I knew my heart wouldn't be in it. If my dreams of Tony recently were any indication, my heart had been given away a long time ago.
"Congratulations again, Penny," I said, patting her shoulder and then bolting to the checkout line. I just wanted to get home and put my coffee away. I thought about just staying in, making the coffee in my single-serve pot, but the idea of a specialty coffee with whipped cream sounded so much better. I needed the treat. I needed something to look forward to, even if it was just a cup of coffee.
I handed my bag of coffee to the cashier and tried not to think about the fact that my life's greatest pleasure was a cup of coffee.
Chapter 4
June 7 th , 1990
––––––––
I lay awake, nestled in the curve of Tony's shoulder, listening to his steady heartbeat in the early morning. I had been awake for at least half an hour, just listening to him breathe. The sun was still just waking up herself, filling the room with a cold gray light that would soon melt into warmth.
I was in love. I knew it already. The feeling filled me from the core of my stomach to the tips of my toes. Even my hair felt in love. I had never met anyone like Tony. He thought I was beautiful, smart, and so sexy. He could barely keep his hands off me. In addition, he treated me like a princess. He opened doors and pulled out my chair.
I took a deep breath, taking in the smell of his skin. It was warm and had the aroma of sunshine. My hand traced the curve of his pectoral muscle, down the line of his abs, each of them perfectly sculpted and beautiful. He was like a Greek statue. I couldn't believe that he was here, in my bed. It had to be a dream. There was no way I could fall this head over heels in love with someone I had met just two days before. It wasn't logical. It was magical. It was fate.
The alarm on the nightstand started to beep, destroying my morning of admiration. Tony groaned and opened one eye to glare at the offending clock. His fingers wiggled along the nightstand until he found the "Snooze" button. With the beeping stopped, he