Winter Chill Read Free Page A

couldn’t do it. Everyone would see that she wasn’t really competent Marian Larsen. She had turned into someone else, some colorless impostor who was no good for her students, no good for Dan, no good for anyone ever again.
    Marian hated making excuses to be alone, but she couldn’t let Dan see how unhappy and frightened she was. It wouldn’t be fair to burden him with her problems. Up here, alone, it was all right to cry.
    She reached for the bottle of pills on the table and took another one. Dr. Hinkley claimed they would elevate her spirits. She hadn’t told him the pills didn’t work. He had prescribed several types already, and she couldn’t ask for more. Dr. Hinkley might give up on her and tell Dan. She couldn’t let Dan know how desperate she felt. Life wasn’t worth living without her baby. If only she could think of a decent way to end her torture.
    “Just a minute, honey!” Marian slipped her feet into moccasins and ran her fingers through her short, brown, curly hair. “I’ll make a fresh pot of coffee. Then we’ll watch a little television together.”
     
     
    Dan could hear the click as she pushed on the alarm button. She was setting the clock now. There was a rustling as she settled down on the bed and covered herself with the blankets. It made him sad that she was so careful not to touch him.
    There was something wrong with Marian. Dan had been watching her all week. She was too controlled. . . . Brittle was the word that came to mind.
    He wished she would break down, just once. He’d never seen her cry, and that wasn’t good. He knew she cried alone, but she wouldn’t share her grief. She was always kind and cheerful, a model wife. She was playing a part; the real Marian was hidden. That scared him.
    Dan stared up into the darkness. He despised being helpless. He lifted his head and peered down to see if his feet were covered. That was a little thing most people took for granted. If your feet were cold at night, your blanket had slid off. Now he couldn’t tell if his feet were cold or not. It bugged the hell out of him.
    He reached under the covers to squeeze his leg. Nothing. He concentrated until beads of sweat were lining his forehead, but nothing moved.
    He concentrated again, trying by sheer force of will to make his leg move. He tried again and again until tears of frustration ran down his face. If he was going to be like this for the rest of his life, he’d rather be dead.
     
     
    Marian was not sleeping. She heard a rustle from the living room and a thump as Muffy jumped off the couch to pad softly across the rug. The little dog ran upstairs to take her place at the closed door to Laura’s room. Suddenly the thought of Muffy, waiting with sweet animal patience outside Laura’s door, made the tears come.
    “Marian? Honey. What’s wrong?”
    Marian tried her best to stop crying, but it was no use. The sobs shook her whole body as Dan reached out to draw her closer.
    “It’s Laura, isn’t it?” Dan’s voice was soft. “Tell me, honey. Talk to me.”
    This time she couldn’t hide. The anguish was too keen, the racking sobs too violent to pretend that everything was all right.
    “Yes.” The word was muffled as he pulled her against his shoulder. “I can’t live without her, Dan! It’s too hard. I . . . I just can’t stand it anymore!”
    There was a long silence as he held her in his arms. There should be something he could say, some way he could give her comfort. He had known this moment was coming, but he was still unprepared for it. Somehow he had to give Marian the courage to go on living.
    “You have to go on, Marian.” Dan’s voice was firm. There was no hint of the desperation he felt. Marian didn’t want to live without Laura. He knew how she felt. But he had to say something to change her mind.
    “Think about Laura for a minute, Marian. Do you think Laura would be proud of you right now? Would Laura want to see her mother acting this way?”
    Marian was