White Nights Read Free

Luigi.” She fell silent, lost in thought.
    Eirica rubbed her arms and hugged herself. The enormity of what lay ahead made her want to drop to the ground and weep with the unfairness of it all. The daily passing of mounds of dirt, hastily formed crosses and piles of stones haunted her, kept her awake at night. What if she lost Ian, Lara or Alison? She’d already lost her husband, but unlike Sofia, Eirica suffered no grief over Birk’s death—a source of guilt that continued to eat at her. But no matter how hard she tried to grieve and feel sad over his death, she only felt a welcome release from a six-year marriage that had been her own personal hell.
    “My Luigi, he had so many dreams,” Sofia whispered.
    “They all do,” Eirica responded sadly, thinking about the vast number of men who’d forced their women and children to make this horrendous journey. Like so many others, Eirica hadn’t wanted to leave all she’d known to journey across this wild, untamed land—but she’d had no choice. When she’d refused to go to Oregon, Birk had threatened to take their children and leave without her. Eirica pressed her lips together. Becoming a widow was the only good thing to come from this perilous trip.
    Her lips twisted with bitterness. Her husband had known full well she’d never allow him to take her babies from her. Now she held their lives in her hands; she was pitted against an unpredictable land that both fascinated her with wondrous sights and frightened her with the sheer magnitude of what lay ahead. Her palms grew damp. She wiped them on her apron, her eyes filling with tears of frustration.
    How she wished her mother were still alive. But Mary Newell had died two years ago, helped into her grave by a cold, indifferent husband who wouldn’t even allow an old sick woman to spend the day abed, gathering her strength after falling ill during the harsh winter. Memories of the woman who’d spent her life waiting hand and foot on her husband and eight sons brought tears to Eirica’s eyes.
    Old resentments welled up inside Eirica. Birk had refused to allow her to go care for her mother during the day, even though they were neighbors. She’d defied him once, sneaked out to take her ma some fresh bread and honey. He’d found out, though, and that act of disobedience had earned her a broken arm and bruised ribs. It was the last day she’d seen her mother alive. A month later, Mary had just given up, laid down and died, a broken woman.
    Eirica fought back tears of regret. If only she’d stood up to Birk, done something to help her mother, maybe her ma would be alive today.
    The need to talk to someone who understood what she was going through overwhelmed Eirica. She glanced at Sofia. Though the woman was more than twice her age, Eirica felt a closeness to her that was missing from the other women traveling with her. Jessie and Coralie were younger, childless and newlyweds. Anne was older, but she was happily married.
    “What are you going to do, Mrs. De Santis? Are you going to continue or head back? Barnaby Thurston and his sons are turning back. Can’t bear to go on after losing his wife. Heard several other families are considering joining them.”
    Sofia straightened and met Eirica’s worried gaze, her own fraught with determination. “I shall go to Oregon. It’s what Luigi wanted. I’ll claim the land he dreamed of and make a new life for my grandchildren.” She considered Eirica through narrowed eyes. “You aren’t thinking of turning back?”
    “I wish I could.” Though Eirica spoke the words aloud for the first time, she knew it was fruitless. Thanks to Birk’s laziness and drinking, she had no home to return to. He’d lost their farm and their small, crude cabin, leaving them no choice but to move into her father’s home before they’d taken to the trail.
    “You have no other family? No madre or padre? ”
    Eirica brushed her tears away, furious with herself for wishing for things that