Whirligig Read Free

was nothing’, and ‘please don’t worry yourself’, the children had stood glowering at each other. The dark-haired woman had prolonged the embarrassment by insisting on taking a group photograph.
    Gordon now sat in the back seat of the Hillman Hunter, computing his victory while he watched the quickening rain. This hiatus was broken only when his mother silently smuggled him a boiled sweet. By the time the sweet was over, he decided that it was now time to clear up the other matter that had been niggling at him.
    â€˜Dad, why were you fighting that woman?’
    Instantly, Gordon’s mother looked not at Gordon, but at her husband. Gordon’s father did not take his eyes off the road, and said nothing. Gordon was pleased to have gauged the mood correctly. They had clearly forgiven him for his misdemeanour enough to have a different conversation.
    â€˜How do you mean, Gordon?’ asked his mother in a voice even higher than her usual one.
    â€˜I don’t think the boy knows what –’ began his father.
    â€˜Oh for goodness’ sake, shut up, Geoffrey!’ barked his mother with sudden and uncharacteristic viciousness. After a short silence, Gordon’s mother encouraged Gordon to continue.
    â€˜Well,’ said Gordon, sensing now that he was completely off the hook. ‘You were in that barn with the red tractor, and she was fighting you. The woman with the dark hair. Had you had an argument?’
    But there was no response from his father.
    â€˜Did you stick up for yourself?’ asked Gordon.
    That seemed to do the trick. His parents were silent again, and remained so for the rest of the journey.

-1-
    With Death comes honesty.
    The Satanic Verses, Salman Rushdie
    P ink’s, like many of the white-stuccoed buildings of St James’s, is a private members’ club. Some regard these clubs as not so much ‘private’ as ‘secret’, and certainly there are only two facts about Pink’s which appear in the public domain. The first is that the club has recently inherited the bulk of the estate of the artist James Hoogstratten, R.A. This ran into millions, and the club’s members have voted not to take the £30,000 each that they were due by the club’s constitution. Instead, they ploughed the entire windfall into boosting the quality and size of Pink’s wine cellar, and in acquiring van Gogh’s The Beech Tree , which now hangs modestly at the bottom of the main staircase. The second fact that is known about Pink’s is its strict dress code.
    Wearing a suit and tie, in most lines of work these days, is a clear sign of a lack of seniority. But few men make the mistake of turning up at Pink’s without therequisite garb. If they did they would be subjected to the special torture of being forced to wear something the club provided. This would be a jacket that bordered on fancy dress, and a tie of such luridness and unfashionability that it could only be worn by a fringe comedian, or a castaway looking to be seen from 35,000 feet.
    There are many rules in Pink’s. Many similar clubs have banned the use of mobile telephones, but Pink’s also bans trousers without a crease, soft shoes, collarless shirts, children, personal computers, and the wearing of hats and swords beyond the cloakroom. Pink’s considers itself rather avant-garde for having lifted – over ten years ago – its 240-year ban on women becoming members. But judging by the members present on the average hazy August afternoon, this happy news seems not yet to have been passed on to any actual women.
    Peregrine MacGilp of MacGilp, one such member on one such afternoon, was perpetually irritated to have to smoke his cigarettes while standing in the street. But he used his time in the smoggy sunshine productively by simultaneously puffing and conducting an exchange of text messages with his niece. They had business to discuss.
    â€˜Lawyer