When Love Hurts Read Free Page B

telling someone else he loves them. Maybe he would say it just to make love to them. It doesn’t make it better, though. I turn onto my side to stare at the wall. As I stare at the wall, I see it from the corner of my eye. It’s crawling on the headboard, and before I can act my age and grab my shoe, Jaylen bursts into the room wearing only his boxer shorts.
    “What the hell you screaming for?” He scans the room, and then looks out the window. I didn’t even realize I’d screamed.
    “There’s a spider right here by my head,” I say, rolling over in the bed so he can kill it.  
    Jaylen has the most pissed-off look on his face. “You called me in here for a spider?” He walks over to the wall and picks up my shoe and kills my roommate.
    “I didn’t hear me call you,” I mumble. “But thank you, though.”
    “Jess”—he plops down beside me and pats my bare thigh—“you have to let Chris go. I know that’s why you can’t sleep.”
    “I’m trying to. It’s not that easy.” I pause before I continue. “I can’t stop loving someone just because of the mistakes they’ve made. It’s going to take some time.”
    “I know that, Jess. I just want you to keep moving forward and not look back.”
    “I am, but sometimes I feel like I’m in the middle. I feel like . . .” I stop. I don’t want to finish that sentence as much as I thought I did. The truth is I feel that Chris and I can still work things out and be together. Maybe even be a family one day. I’ve invested two years of my life with him, and I would hate to throw it away to start off brand new with someone who I might break up with in the end anyway. I guess I’m not a real positive thinker, but that’s honestly how I feel. It seems stupid. Sometimes I think even my love for Chris is stupid, but it’s like loving the nerd in school. Just because no one else likes them or understands them doesn’t mean you can’t be happy with them and make a great team.
    Jaylen is quiet. I smile at him. “I better get to sleep. I’m going to try again.”
    “What if you still can’t sleep?” he asks.
    “I’ll come sleep in your bed.” I shrug.  
    Jaylen stands up from my bed and smiles at me. “I’ll hold you to it,” he says, then leaves.
    #
    The next morning I wake up to Jaylen’s deep-brown eyes staring into mine. I close my mouth sharply, afraid I will disgust him with my morning breath. “Good morning. I’ll let you go back to sleep if you want. I just wanted you to know that I’ve made breakfast for you.”
    I lift my head up, feel the pain shoot up my back, and collapse back down. Luckily, Jaylen doesn’t question my behavior. He rises and starts walking back to the kitchen. “I’ll save you a plate.”
    I make a low sound that says I agree. I lie in bed looking for a clock or my cell phone so I can figure out what time it is. It’s probably around seven since Jaylen normally goes to his sports bar called Miller to check on everything before it opens at eleven o clock. Jaylen is the owner and founder, and Malcolm is the manager. The bar was all Jaylen’s idea, and he set up the whole thing and did all the hard work himself. I was in college at the time, and Malcolm was working at a mechanic’s garage and cutting people’s hair on the side. Jaylen and I entered college together, and we both dropped out. He dropped out to start a career, and even though I dropped out for the same reason mine didn’t turn out the way I planned.  
    A few hours later, I wake up again and roll over trying not to rekindle the fire in my back and arms and legs. I hate it that I forgot to pack PJs when I was rushing to leave Chris’s place, but thankfully Jaylen loaned me his gigantic white shirt. I sit up and slide my legs one at a time onto the floor. My leg stings when I stand up, but I know the pain is worth it to get to Jaylen’s cooking.
    I walk in the kitchen and see a white index card on Jaylen’s table. It reads, “Gone to work.