What God Has For Me Read Free Page B

up with
me. I’m the one who sabotaged our relationship, desperate for his
love, by getting pregnant.”
    “Sometimes we don’t think clearly when it’s
our first love… I still think you should file for child support,”
Tracey stated, which is what her sister did after she and her
husband broke up. But as Halcyon watched the drama unfold between
Tracey and her ex, she thought her sister had put too much effort
in making him do the right thing: pay child support, show up when
it was time for visitation; take an interest in his sons and
countless other offenses.
    “I already forced myself on him, I’m not
about to force his affections for his own children and have him
reject them too. I’m taking a class online to finish my accounting
degree. Plus, I accepted a part time job in the evenings until
something better comes along. My son and daughter will be
okay.”
    It seemed just her luck that while she was on
maternity leave and coping with the realization that she was on her
own, her company downsized. The severance package was more than
generous, but when it ran out, Halcyon started job hunting, but
without that degree, she wasn’t qualified for what she had
essentially done for six years.
    Coming up with a Plan B, Halcyon accepted an
overnight four hour shift at UPS. It marked another fall from
grace: from behind a desk at Frankel & Sons with a marvelous
view overlooking downtown, to a windowless, dingy hangar-size
warehouse with half the pay.
    Plan B was worth it. At least she would have
a medical and dental benefits package for her children. All her
decisions now were based solely on the happiness and welfare of
Ashanti and Jonathan. She could be at home with them during the
day, take an afternoon nap with them and get them in the bed before
she headed to work. They were in good hands with her sister and
mother at home.
    “Things will get better, baby,” her mother
patted Halcyon’s hand. “The right man will walk into your life and
everything will change.
    Halcyon shivered. “I don’t want to think
about another man, especially around my children. If you and Tracey
can go solo, so can I,” she said, then folded her arms.
    “Hold on. I had a good marriage with your
father, and I’m glad you had a chance to see how a real man treats
a lady. God just didn’t give Harold and me enough time together.”
Sarah’s eyes watered and she turned away. “But for the time we
shared, it was worth it.”
    Their mother had tried to duplicate the love
she shared with her first husband when she remarried. But that
ended after the first hit. Sarah hadn’t been ashamed to file for
divorce and told them that a real man doesn’t hit a woman.
    “Hey, this is supposed to be ‘about me’ day,”
Desi teased.
    That quenched Halcyon’s bad mood. “You’re
right. Sorry, sis.” She offered a genuine smile.
    “Not a problem. I’m praying for your
happiness, and a real man, but this may be a good time to return to
church and start over spiritually,” Desi hinted
    “That’s right,” Granny Rose jumped in at the
mention of anything that included a church.
    Although she no longer dabbled in
fornication, Halcyon saw no need to start going back to church.
“I’ve got years of repenting to do before I even think about
stepping one heel in church, and as for a man, I’m done. Scott’s
wife doesn’t have to worry about any baby mama drama from me. I’m
sure no man who may be interested in me wants to deal with any baby
daddy drama either.”
    “It sounds like you’re trying to talk
yourself into happiness, and it doesn’t work that way,” Tracey
reached over and patted her hand. “Although it’s true that a good
man is hard to find, a great woman is no easy catch. That’s the way
I look at it now. You’ll get there.”
    “I know. Once I can get over my
self-inflicted relationship wounds, I’ll be fine. I just have my
moments.” Halcyon exhaled. “Sorry if I’ve spoiled your “Mommy’s