Welcome to the World, Baby Girl!

Welcome to the World, Baby Girl! Read Free Page B

Book: Welcome to the World, Baby Girl! Read Free
Author: Fannie Flagg
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nursery school on the back porch and a dog living there that receives a personal Christmas card every year from the president of the United States, it is just an ordinary house.

    And today is just another ordinary day. At exactly nine-thirty everybody hears what they have been hearing every weekday morning for the past ten years. A male announcer from the main station comes on and says, “And now … Golden Flake Flour and Pancake Mix … that always-light-as-a-feather flour in the red and white sack … takes you to that little white house just around the corner from wherever you are, as we join … your neighbor and mine, the lady with a smile in her voice, Neighbor Dorothy, with Mother Smith on the organ!”
    The minute they get the on-air signal, Mother Smith hits the first strain of their theme song and starts the show off with a rousing rendition of “On the Sunny Side of the Street.” In a moment, Neighbor Dorothy greets her radio listeners as she always does, with a pleasant “Good morning, everybody … how are you today? Fine, I hope. It is a beautiful day over here in Elmwood Springs and I hope it’s just as pretty where you are. We’ve got so many exciting things lined up for you today … so just sit down, put your feet up, and have a cup of coffee with me, won’t you? Ooh … I wish all of you could see Mother Smith this morning … she’s all dressed up and looks so pretty. Where are you going today, Mother Smith? Oh, she says she’s going downtown to Miss Alma’s Tea Room for a retirement lunch. Well, that should be a lot of fun.… We all love Miss Alma, don’t we? Yes, we do.
    “We have so many letters to read to you today, and we’ve got those two recipes that you all have been asking for—one is Lady Baltimore cake and one for a baby Baltimore cake—so be sure and have your pencils and pads ready and later on in the program, Beatrice, our little blind songbird, is going to be singing for us.… What’s yoursong, honey? Oh … she says she’ll be singing ‘When It’s Lamp Lighting Time in the Valley.’ That sounds like a good one.
    “Also, we have a winner in our How Did You Meet Your Husband contest … but before I do anything else this morning I want to start with some good news for all the gals that went to Norma’s bridal shower yesterday. They were all mighty worried when all the Lucky Dime cake had been eaten and nobody had gotten the piece with the dime in it, but Norma’s mother, Ida, called this morning and said they found the dime in the kitchen—she had forgotten to put it in—so all you gals can rest easy … none of you will have to be x-rayed after all … so I know that’s a relief. As you all know, Norma is our little June bride to be. She is marrying Macky Warren at twelve noon on June the twenty-eighth down at the Unity Church, so if you are in town, drop in at the reception at the VFW Hall afterwards. They say everybody is welcome. So all of you out there be sure to come on by and you don’t have to bring a thing. Ida says it’s all going to be catered by Nordstrom’s bakery and luncheonette, so you know it will be good.
    “Speaking of brides … June is such a busy month, so many events—weddings, graduations—and if you’re wondering what to get the special lady, Bob Morgan of Morgan Brothers department store says wonder no more, because it’s pearls, pearls, and more pearls … pearls for the graduate, pearls for the June bride, pearls for the mother of the bride, the attendants … pearls for everyone. Remember, pearls are right for any occasion.… Bob says come on in today … he’ll be happy to see you.
    “And let’s see, what else do I have this morning … Oh, I know … I got a call from Poor Tot and her cat has kittens again and she says they are all ugly but one, so come on over, first come, first served … and in a minute I’m going to tell you how to clean your feather pillows, but first let’s

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