a pearl white Land Cruiser no less? Tell me, how does it feel to rub your fingers through all of that curly hair?â
âSee, now you acting silly.â
âBump that! I couldnât tell, does he still have all of his hair?â
âHeâs losing a little in the middle, butââ
âLet me tell you something. On a man as fine as him, it doesnât really matter. And I usually donât get into light-skinned brothers. I noticed he has some big hands and thick fingers. Like softball mitts or something. Does he have big feet?â
âJacqui!â Betty said, in an embarrassed tone, knowing where her friend was going with the question.
âWhat? You better tell me something! I want de-tails. You know what they say about men with big hands and feet.â
âOkay, okay. His feet are big too. I donât know what shoe size he wears, but theyâre big. And guess what,â Betty added in an attempt to change the direction of the conversation. âWhen we were watching Soul Food the other night, I noticed the hair on his chest is shaped like a giant curly valentine. I just love running my fingersââ
âPlease. He could have a toupee stapled to his chest for all I care. Be glad he got big feet. I dated this guy namedMorris?â she said, raising her voice at the end of each sentence in a questioning tone. âI think he was a Sigma? Brother was six feet three? Two hundred pounds, I think? Wore a size-eight shoe. Swear ta God, I kid you not! I ainât never dated a man who got a package of M&Mâs and a Rugrats coloring book when he bought new shoes. Home-boy was Buster Browned down to the ground,â Jacqui said to Betty. âAnd on top of that I think he was gay or at least bi.â
âNoooo. Really?â
âYeah. I always thought he had a little sugar in his tank, but I sent him to the video store to get a movie and he came back and handed me the box. So I looked at it quick thinking it was Forrest Gump.â
âAnd it wasnât?â
âPlease,â Jacqui said with a cluck of her tongue. âIt was a gay movie from Greece. Tide of it was, Soros Rumps! And then he tried to act like he made a mistake. Girl can I pickâum or what? But tell me. Getting back to your man, does he have hair on his back?â
âOh God, no! I hate that.â
âWell, I think itâs kinda sexy. But yes,â she said in a you-go-girl voice, âhe looks . . . good. I wish I could find me a brother like that.â
âGirl, please. Donât even go there. Clarke was all that and you chased him away. He was cute.â
âLetâs not even get started on Officer Smith. The man had the intellect of a wet spiderweb. And aggravating? Brother always wanted to fuss about something. He didnât have ulcers, but he damn sure knew how to give them. I mean, I just canât go out like that. Iâm thirty-four, soon to be thirty-five andââ
âJac, youâre thirty-six.â
âWho asked you anything?â
âJacqui, youâre thirty-six. Repeat after me. Thirty?â
âLike I was going to say, Iâve waited this long. You know?â
âWell, I thought you kinda liked him. Freda Mae was crazy about him.â
âListen. Freda Mae Jordan just wants some grandchildren.She doesnât care where they come from. The stork could bring them or they could come out of the cabbage patch for real. Okay? She told me she didnât care if I wasnât even married, just get her some gaddamn grandkids. But seriously, Iâm saving myself.â As Betty started to giggle, Jacqui said, âStop laughing! Iâm serious! Can I finish? Damn! Iâm saving myself emotionally. Iâm just not gonna give myself to all these sweet dick Negroes anymore. Donât get me wrong, I enjoy a good piece ofââ
âJacqui!â
âLet me finish, please. When you start saying you
Robert & Lustbader Ludlum