Unattainable Read Free Page A

They continued to show up for visits and call her periodically
despite her protests.
    They also pressured her into spending
time with Jase, or Hawk, in hopes that it would help trigger a
memory.
    So yeah, I timed my visits alongside
Hawk’s trips home. He stayed on the road mostly, but when he would
return, he wanted to see his son ASAP and it was my job to ensure
that happened without him intruding on my mother.
    “ I’ll call the airlines
today,” I told her. “I should be able to take a few days off
work.”
    “ Thank you, baby,” she
whispered tearfully and I felt my eyes prick in
response.
    “ See you soon,” I said
hurriedly, needing to get off the phone before we both ended up in
tears. As much progress as she’d made, it was still hard for her to
think of me as an adult and seeing her cry, hearing her cry…well,
it was hard for me.
    She was my mother. The only parent I
had, the only person in my life that had ever loved me. I would do
anything for her, including make myself miserable.
    Hanging up, I halfheartedly threw my
cell phone across the room and it landed pathetically in a basket
of dirty laundry.
    “ Fuck,” I muttered.
“Fuck.”
    “ Speaking of fuck,” the
man beside me said. “And seein’ as you’re already
naked…”
    I glanced over at him.
    ZZ.
    Yet another biker in the Hell’s
Horsemen Club. Sort of. He didn’t associate with anyone in the club
other than Deuce West, the president, and he hadn’t set foot back
in Miles City since Danny, Deuce’s prissy-ass little bitch of a
daughter, had cheated on him with another Horseman, Ripper, and
broken his heart around the same time my mother had been
shot.
    Deuce’s offspring were good at
that…breaking hearts.
    All the West kids looked the same no
matter who their mothers were. Cage, Danny, and Ivy were all blond
with identical dimpled smiles. The girls had been blessed with
wide, doe-eyed baby blues and full lips, and Cage…ugh.
UGH.
    He was beautiful. And an
asshole.
    Like father, like son.
    As for Deuce, I wouldn’t be surprised
if every blonde-haired, blue-eyed, and dimpled beauty queen across
all fifty states belonged to him.
    My body and my looks would always be a
sore spot for me. I was ridiculously skinny, and not in the
graceful supermodel way, but instead awkward, all elbows and knees
like a newborn foal. I had tiny breasts and no hips, my collarbone
stuck out, and so did my hipbones.
    I was still pale-skinned, red-haired,
and freckled.
    And I would always be—no matter how
many times I looked in the mirror and saw someone not quite as
unattractive as before—that stupid and ugly little girl that no one
had wanted.
    But whatever, I’d accepted the fact
that I’d never be beautiful a long time ago.
    After my mother’s injury, I returned to
San Francisco just in time to start my sophomore year. Two months
into fall semester, ZZ showed up looking for a place to crash in
his downtime. Other than the Horsemen, he didn’t have anyone else.
His father had been one of Deuce’s lifers but had died when ZZ was
twelve. Deuce had become his surrogate father and ZZ had taken the
path his own father had, into the life. When he was twenty, his
mother had passed away, her body ravaged by cancer. Not wanting to
return to Miles City and subsequently see Danny or Ripper, he’d
tracked me down instead with Deuce’s help.
    As much as I wanted to hate Deuce, I
couldn’t. Even though I’d gotten a full scholarship from San
Francisco University, I still needed money for living expenses.
Deuce had paid my rent and all my utilities, even my cell phone
service, and provided me with extra spending money throughout my
college years.
    And, despite my protests, he was still
paying for everything. No matter what I said, pleading and begging
him to stop, he always refused.
    “ You’re family,” he’d
growl. “And I take care of family.”
    It was hard not to appreciate that but
I knew deep down he was only doing it for my mother, not for