Two To The Fifth Read Free Page B

but Cyrus couldn't figure out how to correct it. He mounted Don and rode out of the campsite.
    They almost collided with a slight man coming in, “Oops, my fault,” the man said. “I wasn't watching where I was going.”
    “Neither was I,” Cyrus said. Then, for want of anything else to say, he introduced himself “I am Cyrus Cyborg, and this is Don Donkey, a robot ass.”
    “I am Trojan. S Trojan, a meek man.”
    Cyrus's memory bank whirred. That was the name Tess was looking for. “There is a woman you must meet.”
    “Oh, I would be too shy. I am considered effeminate. Women aren't much interested in me.”
    “This may be the exception. Come, I'll introduce you to her.” He jumped off the donkey and led the way back.
    Tess was packing her things into her backpack, about to depart. “What the bleep is this?” she demanded irritably. Perhaps she had eaten another dislike-en.
    “This is Trojan,” Cyrus said. “S Trojan.”
    She looked stricken. It was almost as if she would have preferred to use less coarse language in this instance.
    “I really didn't mean to bother you,” Trojan said apologetically, “I am on an unlikely quest to find my ideal Significant Other, assuming such a person exists.”
    Tess recovered. “Come here, Trojan.”
    “I beg your pardon?”
    She strode forward, sweeping him up in a hearty embrace. “You are the one I have been looking for!”
    “I don't understand. I'm just a nonentity.”
    “Shut up or I'll kiss you.”
    “You will what?”
    She kissed him. “Never call my bluff.”
    “I confess that is heady stuff. But what would a fine woman like you want with a nothing like me?”
    “I think he's grimy from travel,” Cyrus said. “He'll need to wash up in the pond.”
    She shot him a look of naughty gratitude. “Yes. I'll join him there.” She carried Trojan away.
    Cyrus returned to the donkey, feeling elated. He had managed to do a good deed.
    “I don't understand,” Don said.
    “Naturally not,” Cyrus agreed smugly.
    They had not gone far before they heard someone crying. It was a girl, staring wildly around. “Don't stop,” Don muttered, “We can't let silly females slow us down. That pushy Tess was bad enough.”
    But Cyrus had another idea. “I'm trying to learn about women. I learned a lot last night, but I'm sure there's still more. Also, I have an empathy circuit that makes me want to help folk in need.”
    “Suit yourself, sucker. Fortunately I lack that silly-ass circuit. Chances are you won't be able to help her anyway.”
    They approached the girl. “May I help you?” Cyrus asked gallantly as he dismounted, still flush from his success with Tess.
    “I don't think so,” the girl said. “I'm Xina, I can change my hair at will.” As she spoke her hair changed from short brown to flowing blond. “I'm supposed to join a play ensemble as an actress, but I can't find it.”
    “A play group?”
    “Fiends.”
    Cyrus's data bank whirled. “Those are mainly organized by the Curse.”
    “No, this is supposed to be right around here,” she insisted. “Only it isn't. I don't know what to do.”
    Cyrus had no idea what to do. “Neither do I. Maybe you should ask the Good Magician.”
    “I just came from him,” she flared, her hair turning fiery red. “I asked him what was my destiny, and he said to act in this ensemble that is forming here. Only there's nothing. I owe a year's service for this?” She broke down in tears again.
    “I told you,” Don said.
    “Oh, a talking mule!” Xina exclaimed.
    “Ass.”
    “What?” She looked as if she had heard a bad word.
    “Donkey,” Cyrus said. “He is a robot.”
    “I love horses,” Xina said, her grief evaporating. “He looks a lot like a small horse. May I pet him?”
    Don eyed her assessingly. “Do you like asses?”
    “Four-footed ones, yes. You're quite handsome, like your companion.”
    “Then you may pet me.”
    Xina did so. “You have such a nice metal mane.”
    “Yours is pretty