Top Me Maybe? Read Free Page B

easier having this conversation in the dark when Duncan couldn’t see his face. “Another is having sex in public…. Not in the park or something—that would be a bit skeevy—but somewhere people have come expecting to see it, like a live sex show. Or maybe being in porn, knowing that people were watching me and jerking off watching me fucking someone else…. That would be hot.” He stopped because Duncan hadn’t reacted. “Well? It’s your turn now.”
    “I feel really boring in comparison,” Duncan said. “Your imagination is wild.”
    Tyler chuckled. “Yeah… well I was a late starter in the practical side of things. Didn’t even kiss a guy till I was seventeen, so I spent a lot of time wanking in my bedroom thinking about stuff like that. Anyway, come on. There must be something you fantasise about. It doesn’t have to be something you actually want to do for real. I don’t think I’ll ever actually shag a priest or make a porno, but it’s fun thinking about it. It turns me on.” He wriggled a little closer to Duncan, pressing his thickening cock against the curve of his arse and combing his fingers through the hair on Duncan’s chest.
    He waited for Duncan to respond, and the silence stretched out long enough to get a little awkward.
    “Hey, you don’t have to if you’re not comfortable sharing,” Tyler said. Suddenly he was worried. Maybe Duncan was into something really kinky? Maybe Tyler didn’t want to know what his fantasies were. “Don’t worry about it, we can—”
    “I think about being fucked.” Duncan’s voice was quiet, a deep rumble that vibrated in his chest under Tyler’s hand.
    Surprise hit Tyler at the admission. It wasn’t what he’d expected to hear from Duncan at all. But he didn’t react, waiting for him to elaborate. But he didn’t, so Tyler prompted, “And?”
    “That’s it.” Duncan took a deep breath, his ribs expanding under Tyler’s arm. “I’ve never bottomed. But I… I fantasise about it. About being fucked by another guy.”
    “Never?” Tyler frowned. “But why not just do it—if it’s something you want to try?”
    “I don’t know. Lack of opportunity partly, I suppose. Nobody’s ever asked me to do that. People look at me and they see a top. When I used to go and pick up in clubs, the guys who came onto me were always wanting to suck my dick or be fucked by me. I’m the stereotype you know? Hashtag masc. So I’ve always ended up with guys who want me for that. Don’t get me wrong… I love topping. But sometimes I want to know what it would be like to be on the receiving end, you know?”
    “But you could ask someone. Someone you were dating?”
    “I’ve never really dated before,” Duncan admitted. “I only came out at work recently. Before that I picked up but rarely met any guy more than once. I couldn’t risk it. And with the guys I picked up… well, I didn’t want to disappoint them. I felt like I had to live up to the fantasy. Like they’d think less of me if I said I wanted to bottom.”
    Tyler’s gut lurched unpleasantly. He froze, his hand stilling on Duncan’s chest, and said carefully, “Do you think less of me because I like being fucked?”
    “No, of course not. This isn’t about you. It’s about me and my issues. It’s difficult to explain… but I suppose it’s hard for me to admit that I want that when I spent a lot of years being ashamed of wanting guys at all. Nobody ever thought I might be gay when I was growing up. I wasn’t one of those kids who got teased for being camp or effeminate. I flew right under the gaydar, and no one ever suspected. So, it was this guilty secret that I carried around with me, and I was so scared that I’d give myself away. Then when I finally started to explore my sexuality, it was easy for me to say I was a top. Looking like I do, nobody ever questioned it, and at the time, it felt more acceptable to me.”
    Tyler pulled himself away from Duncan to lie on his back