anymore. Understand?â
Krystal nodded.
âGreat!â said Billy. Then he handed Krystal a half-used roll of toilet paper, and we left. As May, June, Sophie, Billy, and I walked to the Cold Shack for ice cream, we were all in good moods.
âYou sounded like a mobster,â said Sophie.
We were all laughing as Sophie imitated the way heâd talked to Krystal. When we got home, May came into my room and thanked me. I was happy having done something to help my sister. I think Billy and Sophie were too. I canât help but think that itâs really sad and pretty stupid that what started with a backpack full of toilet paper and a desire to help May led to all the problems with Brynn.
10:32 p.m.
Thinking about Brynn
I didnât know what would happen at school today, after my âbreakupâ with Brynn yesterday. The good news is that not much did.
I saw Brynn, dressed in black, looking morose, but she didnât look at me. In fact, she looked everywhere but at me. I was worried all day that it would be awkward when we got to dance practice. I guess I should be grateful to Ms. Baumann, who by chance put us in different groups.
I donât know why, but I keep thinking about the play kitchen Brynn had in her room when she was little. I can still picture it perfectly. It was light pink and yellow, and it had an oven, stove, refrigerator, and cabinet all built in. I thought it was beautiful.
When we were in kindergarten and first grade, weâd make pretend tea parties with all the little dishes and plastic foods. As we got older, weâd play restaurant and make up menus and elaborate dishes. We named our restaurant Choco-Cherry. I never liked the name, but Brynn said we were at her house, so she got to pick it.
Brynn also got to decide which dishes and foods we would use and what we would put on the menus we made. I remember telling her one day that I wanted to decide what we would serve, and she told me thatâs not how the game was played. I went along with what she wanted, and we kept playing.
Iâm sure I thought it was no big deal then, but Brynn was always the one in charge. This sounds very high school English class, but I think itâs a metaphor for the demise of our friendship. It worked as long as I played by Brynnâs rules.
I guess it has just taken me a very long time to come to that realization.
10:47 p.m.
Text with Sophie
Sophie: Can I wear the sweatshirt you left at Gagaâs?
Me: Why would you want to?
Sophie: I love it.
Me: It looks like a dishrag.
Sophie: Iâm wearing it inside out.
Me: Sounds worse than right-side out.
Sophie: Itâs super cute!
Me: You can have it.
Sophie: Youâll want it back.
Me: Itâs yours.
Sophie: It has your name in it.
Sophie: Literally. Camp name tag I think.
Me:
Sophie:
I couldnât help smiling as I put my phone away for the night. Sophie could easily be the kind of person who is intimidatingâsheâs beautiful and sophisticated, and she speaks fluent French. But then she does little things, like taking an old sweatshirt and turning it into something she thinks is cute and then wanting to give it back to me because she thinks Iâll like it. Stuff like that makes her easy to be friends with.
I donât want to name names, but not everyone belongs in that category.
Somethingâs wrong. I didnât get my way.
âGlinda,
Wicked
Wednesday, December 3, 7:48 p.m.
In my room
Bad day at dance
Brynn showed up to school this morning wearing all black, and dark sunglasses between classes, for the third day in a row. She was making a statement. I ignored it all day, but when we were in the bathroom in the gym changing for dance, she was actually making moaning sounds like she was in pain.
I felt I had to ask. âAre you OK?â
âObviously not,â she said. Then she looked at me like it was physically painful to be in the same room with me. âYou know youâre