Too Good for this World Read Free Page B

gone
I wish I was dead too. I hope that you can live with that.
Imogen.
    After she’d
sent it she felt worse. She thought it would vent some of her
bitterness, but it deepened it. It was like her mum said about
karma. Putting badness and sadness and blame into the world only
made it come back and bite you. When she saw that there was a reply
from DAWN Industries later that day, she almost didn’t want to see
what it said.
    Dear Imogen. We
understand how angry you must feel. Reading your email has saddened
us more than we can say. I don’t know what we could possibly tell
you that would make things any better, but if you want to ask us
anything about the game or what happened we will do our very best
to answer you. If it would be easier for you to speak to us in
person or for one of us to call you, don’t hesitate to ask. We know
how inadequate it sounds to say that we are sorry, but we truly
are. This should never have happened. Nick & Dan.
    Long into the
night she toyed with the idea of meeting one or both of them, or
asking them to call her. By the morning she decided it made no
difference. The game wasn’t theirs anyway, and no matter what she
did, Jonny would still be dead.

2013
    One night when
he was playing Affrayed, Imogen was surprised when Jonny stopped
uncharacteristically early in the evening and came over and grabbed
her. ‘I love you,’ he said, ‘I love you, I love you.’ He pressed
his forehead against hers. He looked as though he might start to
cry.
    ‘What’s
happened?’ she asked, ‘did something happen in Affrayed?’
    ‘No,’ he said,
‘and yes. It… my mind…’
    Imogen put her
arms around him. ‘What’s wrong?’ she asked, ‘you can tell me.’
    ‘I wish that
you could see it too.’
    ‘See
what?’
    He wandered
off without answering. Imogen sat down on the sofa, perplexed and
saddened. He’d always been able to tell her everything before. What
could be happening to him in that game that was so unusual he
couldn’t even find the words to talk to her about it?

2015
    Imogen woke
the next morning feeling unusually optimistic. She opened the
application form for the teaching job, and took her laptop
downstairs to make a start on it in the kitchen before work. When
her mum saw what she was doing, she practically cooed with
delight.
    ‘I’m so proud
of you,’ her mum said, ‘I knew something had changed. I did a
reading last night, and everything is looking better for us,
Gennie, everything!’
    Imogen smiled.
Her mum’s tarot reading was neither here nor there as far as she
was concerned, although she couldn’t help but feel a little bit of
extra warmth, and hope. The world was on her side. She kept
thinking that as she filled in the form. The world was on her side. Jonny was on her side.
    It didn’t
last. She thought her mum understood her feelings, but no doubt
encouraged by her damn cards, later that day she told Imogen she
had found her a “date”.
    ‘You…’ Imogen
said, ‘you what?’
    ‘My friend
Zara’s son. He’s just got back from doing some voluntary work
in-’
    ‘No,’ Imogen
said, strongly and firmly.
    Her mum
wouldn’t back down. ‘It’s okay,’ she said, ‘Zara and River both
know your circumstances-’
    ‘River?’
Imogen said, ‘his name is River?’
    ‘Yes, I think
he could be just your-’
    ‘No!’ Imogen
said.

2013
    Jonny had
often talked about transcendence.
    ‘That’s why
Affrayed is so good,’ he said, ‘because you’re out of yourself,
above yourself.’
    ‘What do you
mean?’
    ‘People…
people hate focusing on themselves. When are we most happy? When
we’re absorbed in something. And when are we even happier than
that? When we’re part of something bigger. When you’re looking at
the most beautiful, awe-inspiring sight, or you’re with people who
really, really understand you- when you’re so together, so
united, so much larger than yourself. Affrayed makes me feel that
way so often.’
    ‘Do I make you
feel that