Toad Heaven Read Free Page B

armpit.
    He looked down.
    It was Charm. She was grinning up at him, her dear little face glowing with excitement.
    “Look, Limpy,” she said. “I've collected enough dinner for a week.”
    Her sticky sap-smeared body was covered with so many flying insects it was like she had soft, multi-colored, frantically struggling fur.
    Goliath was squatting proudly behind her.
    “Better than Uncle Nick pizza, eh?” he grinned.
    Limpy was so relieved he wanted to hug them both. He also wanted to strangle them.
    “You could have been killed,” he croaked. He looked weakly at the aunts and uncles, who were brushing car dust off themselves and their flying-insect-covered offspring. “You all could have been killed.”
    Limpy's glands ached as he imagined Charm and Goliath squished onto the highway next to the other four flat rellies. Suddenly his warts burned with anger.
    “Why didn't you stick to my original plan?” hedemanded. “I worked out that Frisbee method so you wouldn't have to go onto the highway. So you wouldn't end up flatter than cow poo with your brains baking on the bitumen.”
    Nobody said anything. The aunts and uncles glanced at one another nervously. Limpy realized they'd probably never seen him this angry, but he didn't care.
    “What maniac,” he said, “came up with the idea of doing it this way? Risking everyone's lives like this just to get a few extra flying insects a bit more quickly?”
    Goliath took a hop back. “It wasn't me, honest.”
    Limpy saw that Goliath was looking nervously up at someone or something behind Limpy.
    Then Limpy felt himself being lifted off his feet by the loose skin at the back of his neck.
    The other cane toads all took a respectful step back, and Limpy realized that a huge shadow had fallen over them.
    “It was me,” said a voice. “Do you have a problem with that?”

L impy recognized the voice instantly. It was confident and loud, but with a soft wet hiss to it like the sound of a slug being sucked through a water rat's teeth.
    Malcolm.
    Limpy twisted round and found himself looking up at the biggest cane toad in the whole wide swamp.
    Malcolm was staring down at him. At first Malcolm's expression looked to Limpy like fond amusement. Then Limpy spotted something else in Malcolm's eyes.
    It was either hatred or indigestion.
    Malcolm gripped Limpy's neck skin even tighter.
    I don't think this is indigestion, thought Limpy.
    He desperately tried to stop his throat sac from wobbling. He didn't want Malcolm to see he was scared.
    Because he wasn't.
    Not really.
    Oversized wartbag, thought Limpy angrily. Just because you're big and strong and handsome and popular and both your legs work properly, that doesn't give you the right to risk the lives of innocent family members.
    Limpy decided to tell Malcolm that now.
    Malcolm lifted Limpy up level with his face.
    Limpy gulped. Malcolm's warts were huge. Each one was as big as a medium-sized dung beetle.
    Then Malcolm's eyes went cloudy, like lizard blood in water, and his face split into a smile as wide as a buffalo's bottom crack.
    “So, fourth cousin,” purred Malcolm. “Don't be offended, but it seemed to me that your flying-insect-gathering plan was a bit inefficient. Not to mention disrespectful to the sadly departed. So I offered these good folks my plan, which guarantees them forty-five percent more flying insects in thirty-five percent less time. Of course they accepted. I hope you don't have a problem with that.”
    “Actually,” said Limpy, struggling to stop his voice from wavering, “I do.” He pointed to the squashed rellies on the highway. “I have a problem with you getting family members killed. And I also have a problem with you risking the lives of innocent little kids.”
    “Hey!” said Charm indignantly. “I'm not a little kid.”
    Limpy saw her glance up at Malcolm and blush.
    “I just haven't grown a lot,” she muttered. “Cause of pollution.”
    Limpy's glands stiffened. That bashful look on