drinking or wenching or gambling or stealing ducks from the Margraveâs larderâitâs all one to me.â He was ready to get to his feet but paused out of respect to the old man.
âI will give you a provisional absolution, my son, and that is all that I may do, properly. This is not what will please the Margrave, for it will be learned in the camp and questions will be asked.â
âAs well they should be,â Arkady said brusquely, rising without the priestâs permission. âBut in a day or two it will all be forgot, and there will be another battle.â He looked at the neatly tied bundles that Hedeon had set out. âBy tonight, some of the men will have put up a different tent here, and I will be nothing more than another officer who left.â
The priest got slowly to his feet. âI hope you will think about what I said. There are times when God is seen from the depth of the abyss.â
âThank you, Father. I will remember it,â he said, doubting it would ever occur to him again.
Outside, Hedeon stood, the reins of Arkadyâs horse clutched in his hands. âI will pack the saddle,â he offered.
âIâd be grateful,â Arkady said, proffering one of the two bundles he carried. He made a studied effort not to look around him, for he knew that half the men in camp had been alerted that he was about to leave. If only I do not have to look at them, I can bear it, he thought as he went through the familiar motions of lugging the bundles of his belongings. âMake sure you tie that bag on well; thatâs food for me and the horse.â
Hedeon blinked back tears and did as he was told.
âWe hate to see you go, Captain Sól,â one of the men said in an undervoice. He was standing not far away, and at these words, Arkady looked up, taken unaware. His eyes met the soldierâs.
âIâ¦â He shook his head, unable to risk saying more. His eyes stung.
There were other words he heard, whispered among the men as they stood, watching him prepare to leave them. Pride and grief almost overwhelmed him as Arkady listened, incapable of ignoring the approval of the soldiers. He tried to convince himself that this alone was enough and that because of it his leaving would not be as bitter as it had been.
âItâs ready, Captain Sól,â Hedeon announced, no matter how obvious this was. âThe saddle isââ
âI know, Hedeon.â He reached into his wallet, which was tied to belt, and tossed two silver coins to the lad. âTake care you donât lose them foolishly.â
Hedeon caught the coins and gave half a salute, then turned and ran away into the crowd.
The herald appeared and looked squarely at Arkady. âYou must understand me: if it were up to meââ
âI realize that,â Arkady interrupted him, getting into the saddle as he spoke. âLetâs get it over with. I donât fault you, man. Just donât take longer than you must.â
The herald nodded as he took his place ahead of Arkadyâs horse and raised his staff so that the men would clear a way for them, which eventually would lead to the edge of the camp. âThis is Captain Arkady Todor Sól, from Sól, who has brought shame upon himself and disgrace upon his lord. He has refused to act in the face of the enemy and has shown himself to be unworthy of the rank he holds. May his name be vilified by every one of you for his cowardice and his insubordination.â The herald had repeated this more than seventeen times by the time the edge of the camp was reached, and his voice was growing worn.
âIt is not on your head, herald,â Arkady told him as he leaned down and gave the man a silver coin. âTake care. Your master will bring you to ruin if you do not check him.â
The herald took the coin. âIt is not right that I should listen to you.â
âNo, itâs not,â