To Love and to Cherish Read Free Page A

deep breath, express an opinion, make a decision, do something as simple as get dressed without wondering if Noah will find some way to criticize me.” She stopped and took a long, slow breath to calm herself. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to say any of this. I’m more emotional than I thought. I should go.”
    â€œAre you calm enough to face other people?”
    â€œI’m used to pretending. It’s only with you and Naomi that I can let myself feel anything.” She kissed her cousin’s cheek. “Thanks for everything you’ve done, but I have to start getting used to living on my own.”
    She experienced a moment of uncertainty when she stepped outside. She’d never been on her own. Either her parents or Noah had made every decision for her. The prospect was a little frightening, but it was also exciting.
    Her life was about to start.
    ***
    Jared told himself it was a waste of energy to lust after a woman he’d seen for barely more than a minute. It was downright uncivilized when that woman was a young widow who’d buried her husband only that afternoon. None of that stopped him from fantasizing about what it would be like to make love to her—something he’d been doing since he first saw her three years ago. When she left Santa Fe, he’d never expected to see her again.
    He soon found himself very uncomfortable in the saddle, but even that didn’t succeed in driving the pleasant fantasy from his thoughts. He had been a sensual person as far back as he could remember. He expected his surroundings to nourish his senses. That was especially true with women. No one could appreciate their shapes or their softness more than he. Considering that, it was out of character that he had chosen to settle in the Arizona Territory, a land noted for its harshness and its lack of women.
    The land around him was a far cry from southern Texas, but he was a far cry from the young man who’d gone off to war seven years earlier. Fighting his fellow countrymen in Virginia and Indians in Texas had deprived him of most of his idealism. Now all he wanted was to find his two brothers. Six months spent in Santa Fe following up every possible lead had turned up nothing.
    The family that had adopted him had returned to Texas in less than a year. The same could have happened to his brothers. Or they could have gone farther west. He had nothing to go on, but he couldn’t rid himself of the conviction that he would find them west of Santa Fe. Consequently, he’d chosen to settle in the Arizona Territory. He had been able to buy a ranch that was already set up and running. At first, that had seemed like a good idea. Now he wasn’t so sure.
    Even though the land below the Mogollon Rim was covered in trees and riddled with creeks, it could be a dry, harsh land that wasn’t hospitable to cattle. He had no intention of building a herd of the hardy Texas longhorns. They were lean and mean, fully capable of holding their own against most predators and surviving in harsh country, but he had set his heart on a herd of Herefords. They were equally hardy but carried more meat. He wanted a small herd that wouldn’t overgraze the range but would still turn a profit. He had his land and he had his crew. What he didn’t have was a herd of Herefords. He knew where to get them. He just had to find a way to pay for them.
    He had to get a loan.
    He didn’t look forward to sitting down with that long-nosed banker. The man looked the type who would enjoy turning him down. He’d much rather think about the young widow, Laurie. She was the banker’s sister-in-law, but she didn’t seem to be anything like him. Scared. Subdued. Sad. Confused. Maybe all of those, but she definitely wasn’t mourning her husband. He wondered why. He also wondered why she wore clothes that hung on her like moss on a tree.
    He needed to stop thinking about Laurie Spencer, though seeing her