anniversary of his first wedding – and he always takes the day off work. He knows I generally find myself coming over there to keep him company. He never objects.
I find him sitting in the dark drinking Veuve Clicquot, the same champagne they had at their reception. He is watching the wedding video, smiling softly to himself. Adam is a real romantic, although you wouldn’t know it unless you are close to him.
‘Dan! What are you doing here? How did you …?’
I remind him about the spare key, for use in emergencies.
‘Oh,’ he says. ‘Right. I thought I’d changed the locks after, you know?’
I shrug and sit down next to him, wincing as the scars of last night’s research make themselves felt. After that initial first shock, though, the pain can be endured.
He sips some champagne and presses pause on the video. The best man is in the act of handing over the rings. I understood when Adam didn’t ask me to be best man. After all, if I’d been there at the altar with him and Helen, his loyalties would have been divided.
‘I’m sorry I wasn’t there to comfort you, that night,’ I say.
‘It’s okay, mate,’ he says, punching me lightly on the arm. ‘Your aunt was sick.’ He presses play again on the television.
We sit there, listening to each other’s breathing. Or at least, I listen to his. It is regular but deep, and every so often, he sighs. The grief is still there, it seems. It reminds me of old times, when I was fourteen and the grief was mine, and he sat next to me in church. I held hands with his mother, on the other side of me. She squeezed my hand. I took Adam’s hand and squeezed it. He didn’t squeeze back. At first. I wonder now whether I should take his hand and squeeze it? But no. He understands without that, now, having read my earlier work.
On screen, with the best man out of the way, the bridal couple are revealed again. Helen has mistakenly worn a strapless dress. It is either to show off her cleavage or the family wedding jewellery. Both are too showy.
‘She looked beautiful,’ comes a voice from behind us.
I jump and turn. Nicole is here! She is wrapped in a silk dressing gown – at 11a.m. The luxury of not having to earn your keep. It doesn’t look like there’s much on under her dressing gown. That doesn’t interest me. But it would interest Luke. It interests Adam, too, unfortunately, despite this being his and Helen’s day – he strokes her silken arm.
Nicole is not in the market for his seduction, though.
‘I just wish Helen had been more careful,’ says Nicole, ‘on her ride.’
‘But then you couldn’t have married Adam,’ I say, which is true.
Nicole stares at me as though I have missed the point. Apparently it is rude to state the obvious.
‘Dan just means we have to be thankful, Nic. That’s all,’ says Adam, playing peace-maker.
‘Yes, that’s all,’ I say. ‘Don’t misunderstand me.’
‘Helen would be happy for us,’ says Adam. ‘Believe me. She was a very generous person.’
I’m sure Nicole has heard it all before, had her second-wife guilt assuaged while she delights in her inherited husband. But still, there’s no harm in comforting her. If it will bring her close to Luke.
‘Come and join us, Nicole. Plenty of room.’ I pat the sofa next to me.
‘No, I’m fine. I’d be intruding. I’ll go and take a shower or something.’
‘I insist,’ I say.
‘Yes, come on, Nic,’ says Adam, looking at her. ‘I want to mark the past, but I can still celebrate our future, hey?’
You can see why Nicole thinks Adam loves her. When the sapphire of his eyes is directed on you, the world sparkles. Plus, Nicole apparently enjoys the idea of being celebrated. She moves to join us on the sofa, and stands between me and Adam, waiting, apparently expecting me to shift over so that she can sit next to Adam. I do shift, but closer to Adam, leaving her with the bit of sofa on my other side. Rolling her eyes, she sits down next to me.