Things Too Huge to Fix by Saying Sorry Read Free Page B

should have been, because that’s what was going bad inside her. It would kill her too, probably pretty soon.
    I spent a few seconds studying my feet, and when I lifted my eyes again, Mom looked twice as tired, and somehow more wrinkled than she had a second ago, and I knew it might be my fault. I thought about Dad, and how while I was at school,he had worked all day looking after Grandma and his garden and the house. When he went to the doctor last month, his blood pressure had been just awful.
    This isn’t going to be easy, Dani, Mom had told me when Grandma Beans came to live with us. We’ll all have to make sacrifices. From this day forward, our family has a pact to do whatever it takes to make the rest of her life comfortable, and only focus on real problems .
    When I thought about Mom and Dad and Grandma Beans, and sacrifices and doing whatever it took to help family when they needed it, my stomach got tight. Worm Dung didn’t seem like something to discuss anymore, so I put him on a table in the back of my mind and covered him with a sheet, and scrawled a giant red X on the picture. There. Done with him.
    â€œCan we get dinner on the way home?” I asked, thinking of ways to make stuff easier for my tired parents.
    Mom got up and smoothed her wrinkled shirt as she shook her head. “Your father’s cholesterol doesn’t need a hamburger.”
    â€œWhat about a salad from Living Foods? They’re all locally grown and organic, right? So it’s like cooking out of Dad’s garden, only somebody else does the work.”
    â€œYou know what? That’s a good idea.” Mom straightened and actually smiled at me. “We can splurge every now and then. Last day of school is as good of an excuse as any.”
    â€œAnd when we get home,” I said, “I’ll do the first check on Grandma.”
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    â€œMac dumped me,” I told my grandmother, because she had never minded hearing about my life and what happened, even if it wasn’t her circus or her monkeys.
    Grandmas were special like that.
    â€œOnly, he didn’t dump me, because we weren’t going out or anything. He said we can’t be friends anymore.”
    Grandma Beans didn’t say anything back, or give me a kiss, or squeeze my hand. She lay in her hospital bed, covered with a white sheet instead of a blue one, and she barely moved at all.
    â€œHe says it’s because reporters are trying to stir up stuff about the Magnolia Feud, but that’s ridiculous. The last time reporters bothered any of us was three years ago, when that tabloid guy tried to hit you up at the hardware store.” Late-afternoon sunlight played across my fingers as I rested my hand on her chest, really light, no pressure, to feel the up-and-down movement of her breathing.
    â€œEverything okay, Dani?” Mom called from down the hall, as if she knew I was having dramatic thoughts.
    â€œYes,” I said. “Grandma looks fine.”
    â€œGive her a kiss, then, and go eat your dinner. I’ll feed her in a bit.”
    â€œOkay.” But my hand didn’t move, and my attention drifted to the room’s open window. The curtains swayed in asoft breeze. That window was always open, rain or shine, hot or cold, because way back when we all talked with Grandma about how she wanted things. “When the time came,” she told us, she wanted a lot of fresh air. Since then, we’d had to move her four-poster bed out and replace it with this hospital kind. It sat in the middle of the floor, along with the temporary cabinets Dad had built to hold sheets and incontinence pads and washcloths and wipes and medicine. We could have kept her regular furniture, but Grandma thought this way would be easier on us.
    You’re going to let me die at home. Least I can do is be considerate and not ruin the furniture.
    Don’t be silly, Mama.
    I’m never silly, Marcus. That would be you, with your big