The Zombie Evolution Read Free Page A

echoed moans and groans like a rotten-tooth lined megaphone. The smell of its breath hit me for six; whether it was its rotten, sore-ridden flesh or that of its victims emulating from his stomach and out of its blood stained mouth I don’t know, I really didn’t care to ask and find out, but what I did know is that its external demeanour was far from picturesque. The toilet lid was smashed to smithereens from the duel impact upon this monster’s undead friend rendering me again completely unarmed, so thinking as quickly as I could I picked up the bin next to me, smacked off the lid and threw it over the second zombie’s head to stifle his arms and cover his jaws. I walked alongside the frantic zombie before doing my best impression of a karate kick on the bin, which did the job and sent it tumbling down to the floor to join its mate.
     
    After a brief moment looking down at the crime scene, I thought; fuck this, it’s time to go.
     
    I leaped over the inside out carcass of the man and pelted through the two doors back into the hallway, then bolted down the two flights of stairs back into the bar. Hitting the bottom step I stopped in my tracks as I took in what I saw; it was complete carnage. There were zombies everywhere, ripping people’s limbs off and tearing people apart mercilessly. People were screaming and running in panic to any possible exit, most of whom were being caught in their attempts and pulled back into Hell. I had a very clear route to the door as the stairs were immediately after the entrance to the bar, but there was no way I was going anywhere without my brother and my pals.
    It was hard to see through the army of the undead, wearing thick capes of blood, but I spotted Jon and Derek behind the bar, looking desperate to get away but confided to hiding as a zombie was tucking into some poor woman’s face just on the other side of the counter. Any move would draw attention to them, but for now they seemed to be fine.
     
    I then saw Lance who, from what I could see, was actually embracing the invasion. He was a bit shorter than me and slightly less athletic, but he was very strong and someone you always wanted on your side in a fight. This was no exception, it seemed like the zombies in his immediate vicinity could have done with him on their side as he used bits of table and pint glasses to fend them off with great effect. He was shouting a war cry as he fought, and didn’t look like for now he was in need of any help whatsoever. In fact, I would have felt bad to interrupt his fun.
     
    Ok, Phil? Where was Phil?
     
    My eyes scanned the room, and far off on the other side of the pub I could see him fending off some hungry jaw-snapping zombie with half a table. He was laying on his back on the floor, holding the table upside down, using it like he were a lion tamer with a chair. The zombie put its weight on him and snapped it’s jaws wildly and dangerously in his direction; it really didn’t look like to could hold off the attacker for much longer at all.
     
    Looking around the bar I knew to get to him was to run a gauntlet of impending doom, but he needed help. With Jon and Derek stuck and Lance otherwise engaged, I needed to get to him.
     
    There was a distinct lack of grace and it certainly was no Moses parting of the sea, but grabbing two chair legs I ran in a straight line towards Phil, smacking every zombie in my way onto the floor. They all grabbed and swiped their sharp, decayed finger nails at me, but somehow I managed to avoid every attempt at them enjoying a ‘me’ sandwich. I was about six feet away from Phil and his attacker, and with my fast approach I used a stool as leverage to pounce high up into the air. Dropping one chair leg with my leap, I swung the other into a grip of both hands with the sharp end facing down.  As I landed, with all my might I thrust almost the entire object through the zombie’s skull, pinning him to a bench, and getting him the fuck away from my