The Zippity Zinger #4 Read Free Page A

though he’s a Yankees fan and I’m a Mets fan.
    â€œWhoever you throw like, I want you to pitch for my team in the Olympiad,” said Ashley.
    â€œWhat team is that?” asked Papa Pete.
    â€œThe Yellow Team.” Ashley turned to Papa Pete. “You’re looking at the first female manager of an Olympiad softball team in the history of PS 87,” she said proudly.
    â€œMy hat is off to you,” said Papa Pete, taking off his hat and saluting Ashley. “I always knew you’d be a big shot someday.”
    â€œHi, guys,” said a nasal little voice from behind us. It was Robert Upchurch, third-grade nuisance. He had spotted us. No matter where we are in the building, Robert will sniff us out like a mouse smells cheese and want to join in. He’s like our shadow. A very bony, long-winded, nose-blowing shadow.
    â€œPerhaps you’d all enjoy it if I gave you a brief history of the Olympiad,” Robert said.
    â€œPerhaps you can skip it, dude,” Frankie said. But once Robert has it in his mind to tell you about something, you have no choice but to wait it out. The boy has got a brain like a tape recorder, and once he’s on “play,” there’s no shutting him off.
    â€œThe Olympiad is an all-school competition now in its twenty-seventh year at PS 87. Everyone in the third grade or above is either put on the Yellow Team or the Blue Team,” Robert droned on. The kid was on autopilot. We all started to yawn, but that didn’t stop old Robert. No, sir.
    â€œWe participate in three events to test our mind, body, and spirit. The softball game is the traditional test of the body, the Brain Buster Quiz is our mind test, and the Triple C Competition is the spirit test.”
    â€œTriple C, that sounds serious,” said Papa Pete.
    â€œActually, it is extremely serious,” said Robert. “It stands for Clean and Clutter-Free Competition. Last year, Terry Sladnick set a school record in this event by washing her hair every day of the school year, including weekends, without getting even one split end. Now that’s what I call clean and clutter-free.”
    â€œAre you finished with the lecture, Robert?” Ashley said. “Because I have business to discuss with Hank.”
    â€œActually,” said Robert. “I have more to say.”
    â€œActually, you don’t,” said Frankie, “because if you do, I’ll have to tie your lips together with a red ribbon and give them away for Christmas.”
    â€œHank,” Ashley said, putting her business face on. Ashley is the business manager of our magic group, Magik 3, and we picked her for that job because when she means business, she means business. “I want you to pitch for the Yellow Team. You’ll be our secret weapon.”
    â€œLet me take your temperature, Ash,” I said. “That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. You have to trust me. Today was an accident.”
    â€œCome on, Hank. If you did it once, you can do it again,” Ashley pleaded.
    â€œI agree,” added Papa Pete. “I’ve been telling him there is a wonderful baseball player inside him, just waiting to come out.”
    â€œWell, say hello,” Frankie said, “because he just arrived.”
    Even though Frankie and Ashley are my best friends, I just couldn’t tell them the truth. It sounded too crazy. One minute, I’m the worst ball thrower in history. The next minute, I throw like I’m on fire. And the reason is that I’m wearing my sister’s red monkey socks. You see, that sounds crazy even to me and I’m the one who’s saying it.
    â€œHey, I just remembered that my clothes are in the dryer,” I said. “I gotta go, guys. See you later.”
    â€œHank?!” Ashley called out as I bolted for the door.
    â€œCan’t do it, Ashley,” I shouted back without turning around.
    Papa Pete, Ashley, and Frankie just