The Undertakers Read Free Page A

budge.
    Ms. Yu’s classroom door burst open behind me. “Move!” a voice exclaimed. I was shoved roughly aside. My books crashed to the floor as a figure darted past me.
    As I watched, thunderstruck, Helene Boettcher crossed the corridor at a run and yanked down on the fire alarm.
    An electronic horn blared out of the school’s PA system. The three zombies stopped. Seconds later, doors started opening up and down the hallway. Kids filed out, all wearing that interested, somewhat amused expression that comes whenever something unexpected breaks up the day’s routine.
    If they only knew.
    I felt the first faint whisper of hope.
    Then a dry bony hand dropped onto my shoulder. Ms. Yu’s voice whispered in my ear, “What do you see, Mr. Ritter?”
    A dozen feet away on either side of me, the zombies had recovered themselves and were focusing their attention on Helene now. Dead Man Titlebaum charged at her, moving with surprising speed, his strong hands extended.
    Seemingly unafraid, Helene reached behind her back and produced a gun!
    Except it wasn’t a real gun. It was molded plastic and dyed a pale blue color.
    A water pistol?
    Standing there with Ms. Yu’s dead fingers digging painfully into my shoulder, the notion struck me—crazy though it was—that Helene would be expelled for bringing that thing to school!
    As the assistant principal neared her, Helene fired a stream of water right into his face. To my astonishment, the dead man staggered back, clutching at his eyes as though blinded. Then, spinning on her heel, she fired twice more at the deceased janitors. This time she aimed low, catching them in the pants legs.
    One of them changed direction and marched right into the wall, knocking off a mounted fire extinguisher. There he stood, twitching helplessly. The other one’s legs stopped altogether. The corpse overbalanced and—his arms pinwheeling—crashed to the floor. When he tried to get up, I saw with horror that some of his face stuck to the floor and peeled away, revealing the underlying muscles.
    Helene ignored them, crossed the hall, and fired another stream over my shoulder. It nailed Dead Woman Yu full in the face, driving her back through the open classroom door. I stood stunned, barely able to register what was happening.
    A small, warm hand closed around mine.
    â€œIf you don’t want to die,” Helene said, “follow me.”

Chapter 3
    Dead Men Hunting
    Wait…a…minute!” I cried.
    Helene ignored the protest, dragging me roughly back into the classroom, her water pistol trained on Ms. Yu, who had pressed her back to the blackboard and was now spasming as if in some kind of fit.
    Around us, most of the kids were standing beside their desks—probably in response to the fire alarm. They were watching their math teacher jumping and thrashing like a hooked fish, their expressions ranging from astonishment to fear.
    Only Brian seemed to have a voice. “Will? What’s…going on?”
    I had no idea what to tell him.
    Abruptly Helene dropped my hand and snatched up a nearby desk chair. “Stand back!” she ordered. Then as we all watched in shocked silence, the girl I’d liked since September swung the chair in a wide arc and smashed out the nearest classroom window. What’s more, she did it easily, smoothly, as if she shattered school windows all the time.
    â€œClimb through!” she ordered me. “Watch out for broken glass.”
    â€œShe broke the window!” Brian cried.
    â€œNo!” Our math teacher shrieked. She stumbled forward, reaching for us with her mummified hands, her skull’s face twisted with rage.
    I thought, What on Earth are these other kids seeing right now?
    Helene didn’t even look at the approaching corpse. She simply raised one arm and fired her pistol into the dead woman’s right knee, just below the hem of the flowered dress. Ms. Yu suddenly veered to