The Undead Kama Sutra Read Free Page B

my face and splashed onto the parchment, smearing the ink. No poof into flames.
    I slipped the crow from under my armpit. It blinked and snorted indignantly.
    I waved the parchment in front of its beak. “Okay, wise guy, if there’s no sunlight, what’s to keep this from getting into the wrong hands?”
    Snapping faster than a mousetrap, the crow snatched the parchment from my fingers and the swatch of vampire skin disappeared down its throat. The crow swallowed, looked at me, then burped smoke.
    I waved away the foul-smelling puff. “Next time give a warning.”
    The crow chirped, sounding like “Ha, ha.”
    I gave it a shake. “If you got anything coming out your butt, keep it to yourself.”
    I unfolded the newsprint, an article about a charter airplane, a Cessna Caravan, that had crashed last week near San Diego, killing all seven aboard. What did that have to do with the aliens? Obviously the article was a clue, but for what? Okay, I am a detective but a little help was always appreciated.
    Raindrops soaked the newsprint. I wadded it into a soggy ball, which I offered to the crow. “Might help with your heartburn.”
    The crow squirmed, indicating that it wanted to be let go.
    I pushed the wad of newsprint into the capsule, screwed the cap back on, and clipped it to the crow’s leg.
    I set the crow on the sand. It shivered and remained still for a moment before starting to limp away. I expected the crow to leap upward but it didn’t, instead continuing on its trek through the rain.
    A pair of headlights crossed over the bridge from the mainland. When I looked back at the beach, the crow was gone.
    I returned to my Cadillac. I had my orders.

Chapter
4
    I spent the next two nights in Fort Myers, in a proper hotel more upscale than the Sarasota pit where Odin had died. I didn’t feel like sharing a place with bedbugs or hookers.
    Trouble waited for me, so I needed to regroup and refresh. As a vampire, I could only last so long on a human daylight schedule before turning into a cranky and dull-minded insomniac. I had to stay sharp. The best way was a long nap in a coffin but I didn’t bring one. Too bad I couldn’t try a routine of poses from The Undead Kama Sutra to help realign my chakras.
    I went online and checked the classifieds at HollowFang. com, the Internet newsletter for vampire aficionados. A funeral home in Orlando made deliveries, code for temporary sleep accommodations to traveling vampires. I requested aMajestic Imperial casket with the Sedona leather lining and hammered brass fittings. I was on vacation. Why not splurge? Besides, I got a “family” discount.
    The delivery crew brought the casket up to my room, explaining to the hotel staff that it was a magic prop. I hoped to chat with the crew and touch base with the local nidus. But both humans seemed clueless about the true nature of their employer.
    I pushed the bed aside and had the crew lay the casket in the middle of the floor. The casket was a vintage model, complete with a foldout crystal ashtray. Fortunately, instead of old stogies, the leather lining smelled of Vancouver Island sinsemilla. I dozed off dreaming of fanging topless Canadian women in dreadlocks. The DO NOT DISTURB sign on the room door kept the maid away and I slept—forgive me—like the dead for the next thirty-seven hours.
    I started the first day awake with a mug of organic, fair-trade Bolivian coffee, a raspberry scone, and a 450-milliliter bag of whole human blood that I’d brought along in a cooler. Arterial type A-negative—the good stuff.
    Since I had no idea where to start looking for this Goodman character, I continued on my original reason for coming to Florida, to find Carmen and quiz her about The Undead Kama Sutra. I drove south, as if the Florida peninsula was a drainpipe leading me to Key West.
    Early evening, after the sun had set, I was on U.S. 1, midway between Islamorada and Duck Key. The fragrant sea air rolled in through my cracked window during