The Taming of Lilah May Read Free Page B

idiots.’
    He gives me a surprised look at that.
    I can see why. I mean, I look like a girl who’d smoke. I’m wearing a rock-chick outfit, after all,and I’ve got the attitude to go with it.
    But there are things that Adam doesn’t understand.
    Things from the days of Jay and me.
    â€˜I thought you’d—’ he starts.
    â€˜I said no,’ I repeat, firmer.
    There’s a very packed silence, full of questions and apologies and disappointment.
    Oh
, mushcats, I think.
This date hasn’t got off to a very good start
.
    â€˜I like your jacket,’ I say, trying to make my voice softer.
    â€˜Thanks,’ he says. ‘Got it off eBay for three quid.’
    I give him a new look of respect. He’s obviously got an eye for a bargain. And he does look dead gorgeous.
    â€˜So how ARE you?’ he’s saying now. Uh-oh. He asks this while staring straight ahead. Most people can’t look me in the eye when they come up with the question. It’s awkward for them.
    It’s even more awkward for me. He’s asked my worst ever question.
    I take a long, deep breath through my gritted teeth and kick one of my feet against the other. It’s only a little movement, but it makes mefeel a bit better.
    â€˜Yeah, OK,’ I say, all casual. ‘Nothing’s changed much.’
    Adam flashes me a look of sympathy and then clears his throat.
    â€˜So,’ he says. ‘Do you still want to go to the park?’
    I shrug.
    I haven’t really given the evening much thought. All my energies have been focused on getting to the fountain in the precinct and looking gorgeous for Adam. But I guess we’ll have to do something – we can’t hang around the closed shops all evening.
    â€˜OK,’ I say. ‘Park’s fine.’
    We set off down the road. I’m ultra-aware of how close Adam’s body is to mine as we walk along the pavement. I hold myself very straight and try not to brush against him, but sometimes it just happens, and a little shock of excitement pulsates up from my legs to my stomach.
    Thanks, Bindi,
I think. I’ve got some serious making-up to do next week.
    We’ve reached the high iron gates of the local park.
    Adam pushes one of them open and holds itfor me while I duck under his arm and head towards the swings.
    â€˜You’re a bit old for that, aren’t you?’ he says, as I plonk myself onto an orange plastic swing and watch my black-jeaned legs fly up in the air and over his head.
    â€˜So?’ I say.
    He’s pointing to the sign now. It says,
No children over fourteen.
    â€˜It’s OK, I look young for my age,’ I shout from where I’m flying backwards with my hair streaming out behind me and the silver hoops pulling in my ears.
    I don’t tell him that I used to play on these swings with Jay when we were little.
    Some things are too painful and private to ever say, even with a Lilah-ism.
    Adam sits down next to me and does some slow swinging back and forth, but I can tell that he’s not that impressed so I swing down again, bit by bit, and then skid to a stop with my trainers in the gravel.
    We walk the length of the park, chatting about this and that, but all the time I’m wondering if he’s bored and if I’ve made a big mistake thinking that he liked me, because he’s acting quite casual and distant.And although he smiles at me, it’s not a smile with much warmth behind it, but more a careful, measured smile kept for friends who just happen to be girls.
    After we’ve done the park we wander into a local cemetery.
    I like gravestones. Don’t know why. There’s just something solid and comforting about them. The last home of the dead. Kind of like the end of an exhausting journey. It’s like a big, quiet, safe club full of people who can’t shout at me to tidy my room or brush my hair. In fact, it’s the only big gathering of adults I feel