and stuff. Maybe he, like, did something with Fiona because she found out about that. Then Kyle and Charlie found out about it, and so he tried to cover up some more. And now Alistair knows all this and heâs scared. Werenât you saying Alistair blamed the uncle for Fiona disappearing in the first place?â
âAlistair was confused,â I said, which was an understatement. Mom and Dad havenât told me everything, but I know that after Fiona disappeared, Alistair was making all sorts of strange accusations. Like I said, he hasnât been himself.
âOne thing is for sure,â Mandy said. âCreepy uncle drives by and honks at you, offers you Fruit Roll-Ups or something? Run, run, run.â
âGoodbye, jerkface,â I said.
âSayonara, onion butt,â she said in her super high Iâm going to annoy the crap out of you voice.
I hung up.
EVENING
This thing was supposed to be about me. You get a diary and youâre supposed to write about yourself in it. Youâre supposed to confess your deepest and darkest secrets. That was the thought, anyway. Dad bought this for me as an âearly birthday presentâ two years ago. Which was a bunch of bull. The reason it came early, or came at all, is because things got a little Are-You-There-God-Itâs-Me-Keri -ish around here one embarrassing morning when Mom looked in the bathroom trash and found some of my stained pants and ⦠undergarments. She probably talked to Dad about it, and he had the brilliant idea of getting me something to express myself with. Heâs a social worker, you know, and is all about sharing feelings. Well, I didnât start writing in this stupid thing until yesterday, nearly two days after Kyle was shot, Charlie disappeared, and the police came upon Alistair sitting in our yard, staring up at the stars. And wouldnât you know it, this is my diary, but all Iâm writing about is my brother.
Iâm not ready quite yet, but I need to write the wombat story down soon. Not sure why, but the wombat might help.
Â
T HURSDAY , 11/23/1989 (T HANKSGIVING )
AFTERNOON
The bird went in at eight a.m., as it always does. Food will hit the table sometime around four p.m., like every year before. I donât know what the Loomis family has planned. Maybe theyâll escape back to their lake house or wherever it is they go. The Dwyer family will be in the hospital. Bedside, with a phone nearby, hoping for any sliver of good news. While we, the Clearys, will eat our taters and stuffinâ and pretend like nothing ever happened.
Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub. Amen!
Okay, it might be a bit different than that. Weâll sit there silent through most of it, as we have been through all of our meals lately. Mom will pick. Dad will scarf. I will try to make jokes, and Alistair might even smile at a few of them. But he wonât speak. Because that would be helpful, wouldnât it?
Iâm so glad Grammy and Pops and Nana and Grampa arenât here. And Uncle Dale and Aunt Mia. They all said theyâd come, but I heard Dad on the phone saying that he âdidnât want things to be overwhelming.â Too late, old man.
Old man. Thatâs what Alistair calls him. A buddy name, I guess. I call him Dad. But heâs starting to seem like an old man. Sighing a lot. Slumping into chairs as if theyâre meant to break a fall from hundreds of feet up. I donât blame him. I feel it too, the falling. Mom, on the other hand, is staying strong, which looks like staying stiff to me. Hands in the sink washing dishes, stiff. At the computer, playing Solitaire, stiff. Standing by the car, about to leave for another shift at the post officeâbecause the mail only takes holidays and Sundays offâlooking out at the neighborhood before opening the door. Stiff.
When your family isnât talking much, you watch a bit more TV. At least Iâve been watching more. Mostly