The Snack Thief Read Free Page A

amount
    of time it took to arrive, Id say it was on the fifth floor. I
    think I calculated right.
It didnt add up. All decked out, Mr. Lapra...
What was his first name, by the way?
Aurelio, but he went by Arelio.
    ...instead of taking the elevator down, took it up one
floor. The gray hat meant he was about to go outside, not to
visit someone inside the building.
    What did you do next?
Nothing. Seeing that the elevator had arrived, I opened
    the door and saw the dead body.
Did you touch it?
Are you kidding? Ive got experience with that sort of
    thing.
How did you know the man was dead?
As I said, I have experience. So I ran to the grocers and
    called you, the police. Then I went and stood guard in front
    of the elevator.
Mrs. Cosentino came in with a steaming cup.
Would you like a little coffee?
Montalbano accepted and emptied the demitasse. Then
    he rose to leave.
    Wait a minute, said the security guard, opening a
drawer and handing him a writing pad and ballpoint pen.
    Youll probably want to take notes, he said in response
to the inspectors questioning glance.
    What, are we in school or something? he replied
rudely.
    He couldnt stand policemen who took notes. Whenever
he saw one doing so on television, he changed the channel.
    In the apartment next door, Signora Gaetana Pinna, with the
tree-trunk legs, was waiting. As soon as she saw Montalbano,
she pounced.
    Did you finally take the body away?
    Yes, maam. You can use the elevator now. No, dont
close your door. I need to ask you a few questions.
    Me? I got nothin to say.
    He heard a voice from inside the flat, but it wasnt so
much a voice as a kind of deep rumble.
    Tanina! Dont be so rude! Invite the gentleman inside!
    The inspector entered another typical living roomdin-
ing room. Sitting in an armchair, in an undershirt, with a
sheet pulled over his legs, was an elephant, a man of gigantic
proportions. His bare feet, sticking out from under the sheet,
looked like elephant feet; even his long, pendulous nose resembled
a trunk.
    Please sit down, the man said, apparently in a talkative
mood, motioning towards a chair. You know, when my wife
gets ornery like that, I feel like ...like...
    Trumpeting? Montalbano couldnt help saying.
Luckily the man didnt understand.
. . . like breaking her neck. What can I do for you?
Did you know Mr. Lapra?
I dont know nobody in this building. I been livin here
    five years and dont even know a friggin dog. In five years I
aint even made it as far as the landing. I cant move my legs,
takes too much effort. Took three stevedores to get me up
here, since I couldnt fit in the elevator. They put a sling
around me and hoisted me up, like a piano.
    He laughed, rather like a roll of thunder.
I knew that Mr. Lapra, the wife cut in. Nasty man.
    He couldnt be bothered to say hello, like it caused him pain.
You, signora, how did you find out he was dead?
Howd I find out? I had to go out shopping and so I
    called the elevator, but nothing happened. It wouldnt come.
I guessed somebody musta left the door open, which these
rude peoples always doing round here. So I went down on
foot and saw the security guard standing guard over the body.
And after I went shopping, I had to climb back up the stairs
and I still havent caught my breath!
    So much the better. That way youll talk less, said the
elephant.
    the cristofoletti family said the plaque on the door of the
third apartment, but no matter how hard the inspector
knocked, nobody opened up. He went back to the Cosentino
flat and rang the doorbell.
    What can I do for you, Inspector?
Do you know if the Cristofoletti family
Cosentino slapped himself noisily on the forehead.
I forgot to tell you! With all this business about the
    dead body, it completely slipped my mind. Mr. and Mrs.
Cristofoletti are both in Montelusa. She, Signora Romilda,
that is, had an operation, woman stuff. They should be back