The Smog Read Free

wanted?”
    â€œNearly everything,” she answered. “I don’t think Geoffrey II—” as in the family she pronounced that Geoffrey two – “will be very pleased, I couldn’t get anything new for him. He collects hats! Mary and Jane are always happy with dolls, I’ve a Japanese one for—”
    She broke off, for she saw that hurt expression on his face again, and realised that it must have been the benevolent dictator’s phrase about a man’s responsibilities to his children which had hurt him before. She felt abashed and wished she hadn’t chatted on so superficially about her own children.
    He said quietly: “I’ve been on an annual pilgrimage, to the cemetery where—where my family is buried. I—oh, I’m sorry! I shouldn’t—”
    â€œPlease,” she begged, leaning forward, “please tell me.”
    So he told her.
    How, ten years before he had almost decided to buy a new car; how, because of it, he had not had his old one fully tested. How his wife and their three children, two boys and a girl, had gone out in the car and the brakes had failed on a steep hill near their home.
    â€œThe car caught fire,” he said. “Exploded, and caught fire.”
    He spread his hands, still looking at her, and she was bereft of words. Perhaps there were no words to use, on such an occasion. But – dear God – how she could feel for him! How she realised what he felt, why the word ‘responsibility’ had hit him so savagely. The train was moving very fast, the undulating fields of Hampshire sweeping past, but neither of them looked out of the window.
    Suddenly, Costain went on: “I don’t think I’ll go again. Not as a—” he hesitated.
    â€œPenance,” she said.
    â€œ You see that?” he asked, astonished.
    â€œOf course I do,” Grace answered. “Geoffrey II was nearly run over by a car in Winchester one day. I let him walk on his own instead of holding his hand. If anything had—” she broke off, only to go on: “I couldn’t sleep for nights afterwards—” she broke off.
    â€œWhat did you do?” she asked a moment later.
    â€œI’d been in the Navy,” he answered, “and took a job with a coastal freighter, as second engineer. I wanted to get away, but you can’t run away from yourself. Then I—well, the only thing that helped for a while was physical labour and I knew a little about farming, so I bought Sane Farm, and I’ve been there quite a few years now.”
    â€œKeeping yourself very much to yourself,” she observed. “You really mustn’t, you know.”
    â€œI’m sure you’re right,” he murmured.
    â€œI know there aren’t many people in the village, but it’s surprising how many are in the neighbourhood, within a few miles.” She paused, considering. “If we have a cocktail party—and it’s past time we did, it must be six months since our last—will you come? You’ve got to break the ice,” she urged.
    â€œYou’re very—thoughtful,” he replied. “Yes. Yes, I’d like to very much.”
    â€œWonderful! And I’ll try to get Professor Storr and his household. That would really be a triumph!”
    They both laughed, quite happily, and only then noticed that the train was pulling into Winchester. Grace picked up her handbag and peered out of the window. Geoffrey would be here; probably all four of them would be, Geoff II on one side of their father, the twins on the other.
    There was no sign of anyone at all.
    â€œI wonder what’s up,” said Costain, as they moved along the train corridor.
    â€œOh, someone called at the last minute, I suppose,” said Grace.
    â€œI don’t mean your husband—I mean the policemen.”
    â€œPolice?” echoed Grace, “oh, I see what you mean. If the police want