Come back tomorrow and I'll be in a better mood."
Instead of leaving, he rose and laid his hands on her shoulders. "Debra."
"It's nothing." Her half-laugh fell short of humor and landed right into despair territory. "The servant version of the seven year itch. You look down the road, and you realize the relationship won't ever change, but this is the relationship I signed up for. With eyes wide open. It's a phase. I'm sure plenty of servants have gone through it."
She was staring at Jacob's chest, using her finger to draw equations on it, something she did to calm a racing mind. Her lungs were drawing in far too little air. His hands kneaded her shoulders. "Breathe," he murmured. "Psycho OCD nerd."
"Dumb jock."
"Not me. Gideon was the football star."
Jacob referred to his brother, Gideon Green, the former vampire hunter who was now unlikely servant to two vampires, Anwyn and Lord Daegan. "I was the Dungeons and Dragon kid," he added. "The one who talked my friends into tilting with lances on our bicycles. Shoving the lance in the spokes is a great way to unhorse your opponent."
"That's cheating. You're supposed to aim for the knight, not his horse."
He smiled. "Why am I not surprised you know that? You know everything."
She wished she knew everything. She wished she knew how to make her heart stop loving a man who'd made it clear he wouldn't love her back, even though they shared an intense relationship she could achieve with no one else.
Studying her face, Jacob drew her back to her chair, but instead of easing her onto it, he took it instead and put her on his lap, curving a hand over her hip to hold her in place, bounce her a little bit. It made her smile, as she was sure he intended. Emilie was at the edge of the desk, studying them. The mouse made a short leap, catching Jacob's shirt sleeve and using it to climb up to his shoulder and settle down under his hair, which was long enough to brush his shoulders.
When she sighed, unable to hold back her unhappiness, Jacob put both arms around her. He made it okay for her to put her head on his other shoulder. Using his long legs and the brace of his feet, he rocked the chair back and forth, back and forth. That was another thing about him. She didn't have to say anything, and he knew when not to talk. As well as when to do so, even if it made her uncomfortable.
"You remember what you told me that day in the library? About the limits of the vampire-servant relationship?"
"I was just thinking about that," she said.
He nodded, his jaw moving against her temple. Vampires had no facial hair, so it was only with other servants she experienced the rasp of beard shadow. Since Jacob shaved daily, it gave her an indication of the late afternoon hour, though she really didn't need it. From habit as well as an internal clock all third marks seemed to have, she knew when sundown was approaching. But Brian kept a small lab in his quarters. He might not appear until he needed the instruments in the main lab, was ready to check in with her on the day's work, or if he needed blood.
She shivered, remembering that last feeding again. Sexual attraction never diminished between vampire and servant, remaining intense and far too easy to confuse with emotions. She knew all the rational, chemical reasons for that. She should be able to manage it.
"You told me the first time you assumed your relationship with Brian was more than it could be for vampire and servant, the bastard took a female vampire in front of you."
"Jacob." Her cheeks colored. Even after all this time, it was a painful memory. When he was done, Brian had fed his cock into her mouth, still smelling of the other woman's cunt, and then he'd fucked Debra as well.
Yet long before that had happened, when she only had the first of the three marks necessary to become a vampire's full servant, Brian had grilled her with brutal thoroughness, made sure she understood exactly what the relationship between vampire and servant was
The Best of Murray Leinster (1976)