The Royal Pain Read Free

was staring at her. Everyone was staring at her. “Whoa, kid, simmer down.”
    â€œSimmer down?” she nearly shrieked. “One of us is gone and I’m supposed to lie back and take it easy? What if he’s been kidnapped? What if the bad guys are taking him away right now? Why isn’t anyone doing something?”
    From the other side of the chapel, Christina thrust the baby into her startled assistant’s arms, and darted across, passing the altar and the masses of red and yellow tulips decorating the sanctuary. “What’s the matter? What’s wrong?”
    â€œAlex is gone! Nobody can find him! He’s—”
    â€œHe’s right over there with me! He came in the wrong door, too, just about half a minute ago. See?” Christina yanked the princess over to the door and bellowed, “Alex!”
    After a second, the princess saw her younger brother, fourth in line to the throne, wave, and hurry across, waving again to the patiently seated onlookers.
    â€œDon’t have a cow, man,
    I might have overslept some
    But everything’s fine.”
    â€œHow long do we have to suffer the haikus,” Kathryn demanded, “because he lost a bet?”
    â€œHow many times do I have to tell you to cut…that…shit…out…” Odd. Everyone was tipping away from her, and now she could see Christina’s face, an oval of concern directly above her, but it was receding, pulling back, and why, why, why was it so dark in here?
    Â 
    â€œI ’m tired,” Alex said automatically, before even opening her eyes. “I just need a nap.”
    â€œHa!” the king said. She opened her eyes and nearly yelled; all the Baranovs were crowded around her. Dr. Pohl—the royal psychiatrist, physician, and all-around EMT—kept elbowing them back. The stethoscope had ruined the older woman’s hairstyle. “You need a trank, among other things. And if you think that got you out of the ceremony, think again, missy.”
    â€œWhere am I?”
    â€œEast parlor,” Edmund replied. “First floor, east wing. It was the closest couch we could find, Your Highness.”
    Alex started to prop herself up on her elbows, only to feel Dr. Pohl grab an elbow and pull her back down. “How long since you’ve had a full night’s sleep?”
    â€œLast night.”
    â€œLiar,” Christina said. She was cradling the baby and looking down at Alex just as anxiously as the others. Only Dara seemed unmoved; she had nodded off on her mother’s shoulder, a tiny thumb corked in her mouth. “It’s been months.”
    â€œIt hasn’t been that long,” Alex protested. “Will someone let me up, please?”
    â€œAfter the doc gets done. And Jenny’s bringing a tray. Maybe you can get up after you eat every bite.”
    â€œShe was worried sick,” Prince Alex bragged, slicking back his already-slicked back hair with both hands. “Fainted like a teeny girl. What a big loser.”
    â€œI was not! I was just wondering where you were.”
    â€œYou really did faint like a—well, a princess, I guess. If you read the fairy tales,” Kathryn added.
    â€œI did not faint! I lost my footing for a second and the rest of you overreacted.”
    â€œYou passed out,” Dr. Pohl corrected, putting away her stethoscope, “due to a combination of fatigue, stress, and malnutrition. In fact, I’d say you’re at least ten pounds under your ideal weight. Why haven’t you been eating?”
    â€œFor the last time, I’m fine . Now take your hands off me.”
    Dr. Pohl let go of her like she was hot.
    â€œGirly-o,” her father said, his eyes slits of blue and the usual smirk nowhere to be seen on his face, “sick or not, you’d better apologize or you’ll be unconscious again.”
    â€œI’m sorry, Dr. Pohl,” she muttered.
    â€œIt’s fine, Your