The Ride Across Lake Constance and Other Plays Read Free Page A

to the turnpike: NO. towelettes twenty-five cents: NO. this establishment is being struck: NO. freedom for: NO. the penalty is increased by one sleepless night a month plus solitary confinement in complete darkness on the anniversary of the crime: NO.
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    lights out!: NO. enter!: NO. softly!: NO. thanks!: NO. present!: NO. heads up!: NO. to everyone!: NO. first name!: NO. beginning today!: NO. next!: NO. watch out!: NO. after, you, please!:
NO. profession!: NO. never!: NO. unfortunately!: NO. to the showers!: NO. wanted!: NO. until further notice!: NO. by the neck!: NO. hand it over!: NO. shut the door!: NO. undress!: NO. as of now!: NO. down!: NO. go on!: NO. sit!: NO. back!: NO. inri!: NO. bravo!: NO. hands up!: NO. eyes closed!: No. smoke!: NO. into the corner!: NO. psst!: NO. aha!: NO. lie!: NO. hands on the table!: NO. up against the wall!: NO. no ifs, ands or buts!: NO. neither forward nor backward!: NO. yes!: NO. no delay!: NO. stretch out!: NO. no stopping!: NO. stop!: NO. fire!: NO. I’m drowning!: NO. ah!: NO. ouch!: NO. no!: NO. hello!: NO. holy!: NO. holy holy holy!: NO. over here!: NO. shut up!: NO. hot!: NO. air!: NO. hiss!: NO. water!: NO. away!: NO. emergency!: NO. never again!: NO. mortal danger!: NO. alarm!: NO. red!: NO. heil!: NO. light!: NO. behind!: NO. don’t!: NO . there!: NO. here!: NO. upstairs!: NO. go!: NO. NO. NO:
    help?: YES!
help?: YES!
help?: YES!
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    helYESpYEShelYESpYEShelYESpYEShelYESpYEShelYESpYEShelp
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    help
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    Translated by Michael Roloff

My Foot My Tutor

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    What, I say, my foot my tutor?
    â€“SHAKESPEARE, The Tempest
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    The curtain opens.
    It is a sunny day.
    In the back of the stage we see, as the stage backdrop, the façade of a farmhouse.
    The stage is not deep.
    The left side of the stage, from our vantage point, shows a view of a cornfield.
    The right side of the stage, from our vantage point, is formed by a view of a large beetfield.
    Birds are circling above both fields.
    In front of the farmhouse we see a peculiar, longish object and ask ourselves what it might represent.
    A rubber coat, black, covers the object partially; yet it does not fit like a glove, and so we cannot recognize what the object represents onstage.
    To the right of the picture of the farmhouse door, from our vantage point, we notice a wooden block with a hatchet in it in front of a window; or rather, a large piece of wood is lying on the block, which is not quite level on the ground, and a hatchet is sticking in the piece of wood. Round about
the chopping block we notice many pieces of chopped wood, and also, of course, chips and splinters, strewn about the stage floor.
    On the chopping block, next to the large piece of wood with the hatchet sticking in it, we notice a cat: while the curtain opens the cat probably raises its head and subsequently does what it usually does, so that we recognize: the cat represents what it does.
    Upon first glance, we have seen someone sitting next to the chopping block, on a stool: a figure.
    Now, after having briefly taken in the other features of the stage, we turn back to this figure sitting on a stool in the sunshine in front of the picture of the house.
    He—the figure is that of a male—is dressed in rural garb: that is, he is wearing blue coveralls over his pants; his shoes are heavy; on top, the person is wearing only an undershirt.
    No tattoos are visible on his arms.
    The person wears no covering on his head.
    The sun is shining.
    It is probably not necessary to mention explicitly that the person squatting on the stool in front of the picture of the house is wearing a mask. This mask covers half of his face—the upper part, that is—and is immobile. It represents a face which, moreover, evinces an expression of considerable glee, within limits, of course.
    The figure on the stage is young—some recognize that this figure probably represents the ward.
    The ward has his legs stretched out in front of him.
    We see