The Pixilated Peeress Read Free Page A

Countess."
     
                  "How gat you into Duke Gondomar's bad book?"
     
                  "A few years after Volk died in vain pursuit of his youth, my sire, upon his deathbed, promised me to G ondomar. But I, misliking the arrogant brute, threw his marriage contract in his face and refused to wed him. After my father's funeral, Gondomar came back with his army, vowing to bed me with or without the Divine Pair's blessing.
     
                  "I let it be known tha t I'd slay any man who sought to futter me against my will, if it meant stabbing him in his sleep. I beat off his first attempt, and for years I lived behind my castle walls, like a captive or cloistered nun. Last month the Duke returned and this time pre vailed."
     
                  "Strange that a lady of your qualities and demesne did not find a hundred would-be spouses rattling her castle gates!"
     
                  "Oh, I've had offers aplenty, but none that suited," Yvette replied disdainfully. "My next husband must be, imprimus, of nob le rank; secundus, a shrewd and met tlesome man of affairs, able at running the county; and tertius, a poet who can ensorcel me with romantical fancies. And, it goes without saying, a strong-loined lover and a man who will heed my advice in county matters. "
     
                  Thorolf whistled. "Even one of our pagan gods were hard-pressed to meet your requirements! Certes I could not, though I used to compose a few versicles. But one cannot live on poetry in Rhaetia, where merchants and bankers rule."
     
                  "You a poet? Ha, can your horse play the lute? 'Twere no more credible. Pray give an ensample!"
     
                  "Let me think." While he pondered, the chirp of birds dwindled to silence with the fading of light. A cricket struck up its shrill song, while overhead an early flittermouse whir red. At last Thorolf spoke:
     
    -
     
    "My lady, the mistress of Castle Contentious,
    Is hunting a husband of standing pretentious;
    But I, a plain wight of opinions sententious,
    Am loath to embark on a lifetime dissentious!"
     
    -
     
                  "Ouch!" he exclaimed as Yvette boxed his right ear. "What's that for?"
     
                  "Insolent malapert! You, a commoner, jesting that had I the absurdity to offer you my hand, you'd have the effrontery to reject my proposal! Had you voiced such a thought in my demesn e — "
     
                  "But we are not in your demesne. And if you seek to treat me as one of your serfs, you may wend afoot for all I care."
     
                  Yvette subsided, though Thorolf caught a murmur that resembled the expletives of a fishmonger who found he had taken counterfeit coins for his wares. As they rode on in silence, the soldier began to suspect that despite her notable virtues, the Countess was lacking in humor. He wondered what had happened to the knights in the old romances and the ladies fair who decked them with si l ken scarves and meekly awaited their return from adventures. Meekness was certainly not the style of Yvette of Grintz.
     
                  At last she spoke again, in normal tones: "Pray un derstand, good my soldier, that I could never entertain a proposal of marriage from one of your class. The fact that you have worked for wages debars you forever from alliance with one of noble blood."
     
                  Thorolf raised an eyebrow. "What is so demeaning about earning an honest living?"
     
                  "That you do so doth you credi t; but a noble must de vote all h is strength to the welfare of those whom the Divine Pair have placed beneath his rule, leaving no time to toil for gain. He must strain at the practice of arms each day, whilst his lady spends her waking hours in the conduct of their establishmen t. Knowst the tale of Count Helfram of