The Party Line, a Myrtle Crumb Mystery Prequel Read Free Page A

"Who're you?"
    I told him who I was and that I'd brought a
cake over as a token of my sympathy.
    He looked down at the cake and snarled up
his nose. "Happy Birthday? It ain't my birthday."
    "Well, it isn't mine,
either, but they didn't have a cake that said, 'Sorry your wife is
dead.' You are sorry, aren't you?"
    He scratched his belly. "'Course I'm sorry.
What do you mean by that?"
    "I'm sayin' that looks like a vegetable beef
stain on your tee shirt, that's what I'm sayin'."
    He looked down at the stain and then back up
at me. "I had soup for lunch."
    "Was it from the same pot your wife drowned
in?"
    "Hey, lady! What're you sayin'? Who do you
think you are?"
    "I'm not saying
anything…not to you anyway. Here's your cake." I shoved the cake at him and
high-tailed it to the car. Not that I can high-tail it very fast
these days, but I got in my car and locked the doors before I even
looked around to see where he was. I needn't have worried. He was
still standing on the porch lookin' down at that birthday
cake.
    On the way home, a new plan began to form. I
knew just how to deal with Mr. Donnie Culpepper.
    At precisely 7:42 p.m., I muted "Jeopardy,"
picked up my phone and called Donnie Culpepper.
    He answered with a slurred "yeah" that made
me think he'd been washing down my birthday cake with something a
little stronger than milk.
    "Mr. Culpepper, it's Myrtle Crumb. I brought
you a cake today?"
    "Yeah?"
    "Well, I just want you to know that I'd be
willing to forget about that vegetable beef stain on your tee shirt
for…well, for five hundred dollars."
    "Five hundred dollars! Geez, lady, you're
out of your mind!"
    "Okay, then, I suppose I'll go to the police
with everything I know."
    "That's just it—you don't know nuthin'."
    "I know plenty of things," I said. "For one
thing, I know you were spotted coming out of the diner right before
they found poor Doris May." I had to ask God to forgive that little
white lie too because I just said that to trip Donnie up.
    "That ain't so! They didn't find her until
two hours later!"
    "Is that right? So, you admit that you
killed your ex-wife." My Jessica Fletcher-watching was paying
off.
    "And what if I did? Huh? What about it?
You're just a senile old lady. Who's gonna believe you? It's your
word against mine."
    "The police already suspect you, you know.
If I confirm what I know—"
    "You ain't confirmin' nuthin'! You hear
me?"
    "There's no need to shout. I'm not deaf.
Here's the deal. You killed Doris May, and I know it. For five
hundred dollars, I'll forget what I know."
    He made some sort of
growly sound. "No, lady, here's the deal. I killed Doris May, and if you don't
keep your mouth shut, I'll kill you, too!"
    "Well, there you have it, folks," I
said.
    "Have what?"
    "Your confession."
    "That's your word against mine, and—"
    "Nope," I said, "we all heard it."
    "That's right," Tansie said.
    "Me, too," Melvia chimed in, "and I have
Officer Rudolph on my kitchen extension."
    And that's how I, Myrtle Crumb, became the
town sleuth. But then the telephone company came in and took away
our party lines. So much for progress.
The End

If you enjoyed PARTY LINE , the party
continues with the full-length books in the series.
    Between A Clutch and A Hard Place
    When Myrtle Crumb buys a purse at a
consignment shop, she's surprised to find a note inside. The note
says, "If anything happens to me, look to Jim. He did it." It's
signed Flora Adams. It isn't long before Myrtle meets Jim Adams and
learns he's a widower. Did the man she's dating murder his wife?
Myrtle had better find out in a hurry!
    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008YPI1KE
    When Good Bras Go Bad
    Myrtle Crumb, the sassy sixty-something
sleuth from BETWEEN A CLUTCH AND A HARD PLACE, is back. This time
she must go undercover in the middle school cafeteria to prove her
granddaughter is not a thief. Still, Sunny knows more than she's
telling; and it's starting to affect her relationship with her
grandmother. Is Sunny's new friend