The Outcast Read Free Page B

Lewis went back to balancing.

    They took a taxi from Victoria to Charing Cross and they looked out at the buildings, and the big holes where buildings had been.There was much more sky than there had been and the gaps looked more real than the buildings, which were like afterthoughts. There were lots of people on the pavements and the road was crowded with cars and buses. The weather made it look as if the broken buildings and people’s coats and hats and the grey sky were all joined together in greyness

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    except for the blowing autumn leaves, which were quite bright.
    ‘Here we are,’ said Elizabeth, and the taxi pulled over. Lewis scraped his calf climbing out of the taxi and didn’t feel it because he was looking up at the hotel and seeing all the men going in and out and thinking that one of them might be his father.

    ‘I’m meeting my husband in the bar.’ ‘Yes, madam. Follow me.’
    Lewis held Elizabeth’s hand and they followed the man.The hotel was vast and dim and shabby.There were men in uniform everywhere and people greeting each other and the air was full of smoke. Gilbert was sitting in a corner by a tall, dirty window. He was in his uniform, and greatcoat, and he was smoking a cigarette and scanning the crowds outside on the pavement. Elizabeth saw him before he saw her and she stopped.
    ‘Do you see your party, madam?’ ‘Yes, thank you.’
    Lewis pulled her hand,‘Where? Where?’
    Elizabeth watched Gilbert and she thought, I should hold this moment. I should remember this. I will remember this all my life. Then he looked up and saw her. There was a moment of blankness and then a smile and from then she wasn’t on her own in her head any more, she was with him. He crushed his cigar- ette into the ashtray and got up and went over to her. She let go of Lewis’s hand. They kissed, embraced clumsily, and then allowed each other to be very close, quickly.
    ‘God, we can get you out of this bloody uniform—’ ‘Lizzie, you’re here—’
    ‘We’ll burn it, ritually.’

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    ‘Don’t be treasonous.’
    Lewis looked up at his mother and father holding each other. His hand felt strange where she had let go of it. He waited.They stood apart and Gilbert looked down at Lewis.
    ‘Hello, little chap!’
    Lewis looked up at his father and he had so many thoughts in his mind that his face went blank.
    ‘Aren’t you going to say hello?’ ‘Hello.’
    ‘What? Can’t hear you!’ ‘Hello.’
    ‘Shake hands then!’
    Lewis held out his hand.They shook hands.
    ‘He’s been so excited, Gilbert. He’s been full of things to ask. He’s talked of nothing else.’
    ‘We can’t stand here all day. Shall we get out of this ghastly place? What do you want? What shall we do?’
    ‘I don’t know.’
    ‘Are you going to cry?’
    Lewis looked up at Elizabeth in alarm.Why would she cry? ‘No. I’m not going to.We could have some lunch.’
    ‘Well, not here. Come on, I’ll get my things.Wait.’
    He went over to the table where he’d been sitting and picked up his kit bag and another bag. Lewis held tightly to his mother. She squeezed his hand.They still had their secret, she was still with him.

    They went for lunch and a huge fuss was made about the chops, which were small and brown, in the middle of a large silver plate. Lewis thought he wasn’t hungry and ate enormously. He watched his parents talking.They talked about the housekeeper,

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    Jane, and whether or not her cooking was tolerable.They talked about the roses Elizabeth had just planted and that there was going to be a big Christmas party at the Carmichaels. Lewis thought he would explode with boredom and his insides would splash all over the walls and onto the waiter’s white jacket. He tapped his father’s arm.
    ‘Excuse me, sir.’
    His father didn’t look at him.
    ‘I’ll get the train, I should think . . .’ Lewis thought he hadn’t heard. ‘Excuse me, sir . . . Excuse me.’ ‘Do answer him,