The Magpies Read Free Page A

brow.’
    ‘Or she told me to bend over for my injection and fell madly in love. The truth is rather more mundane. I was installing software on the hospital computer system. I saw her and fancied her immediately, so I found out her name and left a message on the terminal for her: NURSE PHILLIPS. I REQUIRE URGENT MEDICAL ATTENTION. PLEASE CALL ME. Tacky, I admit, but it worked. She phoned me the next day.’
    ‘You’re a very lucky man. She’s very attractive.’
    ‘I know. Actually, it would have been hard for me to meet her as a patient because she works on the children’s ward.’ He smiled. ‘She told the kids about my message and they teased her about it for months afterwards. Going to give Jamie his medicine, nurse Phillips? Cheeky little sods.’
    ‘And you’re in computers?’
    ‘That’s right. I work for a firm that installs and maintains computer systems for organisations like hospitals, schools, local councils, etcetera. It’s not glamorous but it’s alright, you know.’
    They spent the next ten minutes talking about computers and the internet. Brian was about to buy a new PC and Jamie said he’d help him set it up if he wanted. He asked Brian what he did for a living.
    ‘I’m a writer.’
    ‘Really? Anything I might have come across?’
    ‘Probably not – unless the kids in Kirsty’s ward are fans. I write young adult horror. The Scarlet Moon series – have you heard of it?’
    Jamie was about to respond when they heard the wail of a siren outside, drowning out the music for a moment. The siren ceased and a woman dressed as Cleopatra – who was looking out the front window – turned to her friend, Julius Caesar, and said, ‘It’s the fire brigade.’
    Kirsty, Heather and the vampire came into the room, along with Brian’s wife, Linda, and they and everyone else crowded round the front window, looking out as two fire engines pulled up to the kerb. Half-a-dozen fire fighters jumped out and Jamie noticed the looks of puzzlement on their faces. They looked up and down the road. Where was the fire?
    Someone said, ‘Maybe there’s a cat stuck up a tree,’ causing a ripple of laughter.
    Then Cleopatra said, ‘They’re heading this way.’
    Jamie and Kirsty looked at each other, and backed out of the crowd. Paul, who had been out the front, smoking a spliff, hurried into the room and staggered up to Jamie.
    ‘They want to see you,’ he said.
    ‘Me?’
    Jamie made his way outside, followed by Kirsty, Paul, Heather, Brian, Linda and anyone else who could cram into the hallway. A pair of disgruntled-looking firemen stood on the doorstep. Looking around at the mock policemen and fake doctors, Jamie could have believed the firemen were also party-goers: a couple of unfortunates who had turned up in the same outfit.
    ‘Are you Jamie Knight?’ said the older fireman, who was clearly in charge.
    ‘Yes. That’s me.’
    ‘You phoned to report a fire. Where is it?’
    ‘What?’
    The fireman sighed. ‘We don’t have all day, Mr Knight. Is there a fire? Is it out?’
    ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about…’
    ‘You phoned 999.’
    ‘I didn’t. I haven’t phoned anyone all evening. I–’
    ‘It’s an offence to make a hoax phone call to the emergency services, Mr Knight. Maybe you thought it would be funny. You’re certainly wearing the right outfit for it.’
    Jamie looked down at his devil’s outfit and felt his mouth go dry. ‘But I didn’t do it.’
    The fireman stared at him. It was a long, hard stare that made Jamie feel like a schoolboy who’d been brought up in front of the headmaster. When the scrutiny was over, the fireman said, ‘Maybe it was one of your guests.’
    Kirsty stepped forward. ‘Nobody here would have done that. Can’t you trace the call?’
    The fireman treated her to the same hard stare. ‘Maybe we will.’ He turned to his colleagues. ‘Come on, we’ve wasted enough time here.’ They marched off down the path.
    The party wasn’t quite