The Luckiest Lady In London Read Free

deal with the fact that she was something of a bumpkin. She could not paint, play the pianoforte, or speak a foreign language. She had only the faintest grasp of art, history, and literature. And of her penmanship, the less said the better.
    Her lack of fortune, pedigree, and accomplishments did not particularly bother Louisa. She was, however, greatly frustrated by the fact that for someone who needed to marry a great deal of money, she was not a singular beauty—as great a handicap as setting out on safari without a working firearm.
    Her two elder sisters were both exquisite, but Frederica had not left her room since becoming mildly pockmarked after a bout of smallpox, and Cecilia was determined to kiss only her best friend, Miss Emily Milton.
    Of her two younger sisters, Julia was of completely the wrong temperament for the wooing of gentlemen, and Matilda, dear, dear Matilda, was an epileptic and therefore out of the question.
    All the other Cantwell sisters were able-bodied, capable of working as governesses or ladies’ companions to support themselves—even Frederica, Louisa was sure, would abandon her reclusive ways if she were actually starving. But Matilda must be looked after at all times. She needed a man of means. Since Matilda could not handle the rigors of a London Season herself, Louisa had to be the one to try.
    On the day Louisa realized this, when she was sixteen, she walked three miles from her house so she could despair withoutanyone seeing her. She gave herself one hour. Then she returned home, opened her notebook, and turned to the last page.
    Everything I want
.
    1 .
A small cottage
    2 .
Books, as many as said cottage can hold
    3 .
A good telescope
    4 .
Messier’s Catalogue
    5 .
A tutor in higher mathematics
    When it had seemed that both Frederica and Cecilia might make brilliant matches, Louisa had dreamed of being a happily independent spinster. But dreams were for girls who could afford them—and she was no longer one of them. She crossed out the list and started a new one.
    Everything I need to win a man with five thousand pounds a year
.
    L ouisa would have liked to win that rich man when she was nineteen—Lady Balfour, Mrs. Cantwell’s cousin, had promised to sponsor one of Mrs. Cantwell’s daughters to a Season. But first Lady Balfour had to marry her own daughters; then she had to refrain from going out in public during her mourning period for Sir Augustus, her husband.
    When Louisa finally arrived in London, in the spring of 1888, this was how the list looked.
    Everything I need to win a man with five seven thousand pounds a year
.
    (Being impecunious herself, Louisa had quite underestimated the kind of expenses a man with a large income would have, as well as the number of relations who depended on his largesse.)
    1 .
Bust improvers
    2 .
Recipes for shiny hair, bright teeth, and soft skin
    3 .
An understanding of fashion, fabrics, and the styles and cuts of garments that best flatter figure
    4 .
Familiarity with French, as commonly seen on menus
    5 .
The ability to dance passably well
    6 .
Deftness at flattering a gentleman
    7 .
Deftness at flattering said gentleman’s mother and sisters
    8 .
The understanding that no matter how much interest a man professes in a young lady, he is still more interested in himself
    9 .
The understanding that if a young lady is seen to be having a good time, she is much less likely to be thought of as scheming
    10 .
A coherent strategy before the beginning of the Season and tactics in place before each engagement. Time is limited. Preparation is critical
.
    11 .
The understanding that—God help me—I must not fail
    B y the time Louisa walked down the grand staircase at her first ball, she was twenty-four, well past the first bloom of youth. But all her extra years of practice—she didn’t simply make a list and consider her task done—had paid off and London was quite taken with her. Or rather, with the Miss Cantwell she presented to Society. She