The Last Adventure of Constance Verity Read Free Page B

complicated by the whole time travel thing, which she’d learned to avoid ever since having to kill several evil versions of herself from the future. Orwould kill them at some point. She still wasn’t clear on that.
    Connie did have one friend among the ordinary, who had been a friend of hers since Connie’s seventh birthday party, which had been interrupted by a giant snake attack. After she’d slain the monster by taking advantage of its severe birthday cake allergy, all the other children had fled. All of them except Tia, who had managed to save a cupcake for Connie. From then on, they’d been the best of friends.
    They’d made plans to meet up at their go-to, a kitschy chain restaurant designed with a manufactured quirky aesthetic. It was boring and dull, the kind of place adventures didn’t happen. Not often, anyway. Everywhere Connie went, adventure might be lurking.
    Connie arrived first. She always did. It was protocol. She found a table, and when she sat down, her cell rang.
    â€œThe eagle eats cheese at midnight,” said Tia mysteriously.
    â€œThe moose dances under the half-moon,” replied Connie, equally mysteriously.
    There was a pause.
    â€œWait. Is that good or bad?” asked Tia.
    â€œWhy are you asking me? You’re the one who came up with the code phrases.”
    â€œIt’s a lot to keep track of. Moose is code for vampires, right? Is there a vampire there right now?”
    â€œMoose is code for aliens,” said Connie.
    â€œThere are aliens there?”
    Connie glanced at the unassuming man sitting at a boothacross the room. Not many people would’ve noticed the secondary gills on his neck or the slit where his third eye was shut tight. Even fewer would’ve known to look.
    â€œThere’s one,” she said. “But he’s just here with friends. Shouldn’t be a problem.”
    â€œThis isn’t going to be like the mummy incident, is it? As I recall, you said he wasn’t going to be a problem, either.”
    â€œNo, I said I didn’t think he would be problem. Mummies are unpredictable. You’re the one who still wanted to go to the Egyptian artifacts exhibit with me, even knowing my history with the cursed undead. So, that wasn’t my fault. But this is just an alien, a native of the Ragkurian Spiral, from the looks of it. They’re perfectly harmless.”
    â€œThen why did you mention him?”
    â€œWill you stop giving me a hard time and just come on? The coast is clear, I swear. The most dangerous thing here is a woman at the bar contemplating killing her husband for the insurance money.”
    â€œYou know I love you, Connie, but it’s creepy when you do that detective thing.”
    â€œSorry. We can do this at the Safe Zone.”
    The Safe Zone was the break room at the insurance company where Tia worked. Nothing exciting ever happened there.
    â€œNo, it’s cool. I’m sick of microwaved burritos, anyway.” Tia slid around from behind Connie and stepped up to the table. Tia hung up her phone and arched her eyebrows. “Did I surprise you?”
    â€œSure. Totally. I had no idea you slipped the busboy ten bucks to hide in the kitchen to try and get the drop on me. Just like I have no idea that you got here forty minutes early to do it, and that you ate a BLT when you got too hungry to wait.”
    Tia took a seat at the table. “Somebody is feeling snarky today. I take it the job interview didn’t go very well.”
    â€œI did keep the world from killing us all, but other than that, it was a bust.”
    â€œSorry to hear that.”
    â€œIt’s cool. I’m just cranky because I’m hungry.”
    Connie ordered a soup, sandwich, and beer. The soup was bland. The sandwich was chewy. The beer was warm. None of which was surprising. The restaurant’s unexceptional nature was why they came here.
    â€œI still don’t know why you want a job,