THE HUSBAND HUNTERS Read Free Page B

to get a date. So far none of us had. The only one of us that didn’t actually fancy him was Tash, and none of us could understand why. He was the stuff fantasy was made of, but as Tash pointed out, he didn’t have a wedding ring on, so he didn’t do it for her.
    ‘Yeah, right, Bee - there’s more chance of Paul Hardman staying straight than you getting a date with Steve,’ laughed Kazza. ‘Or if you did, he’d probably rip you off.’
    I groaned inwardly. The girls had never let me forget about my Turkish toy boy Vahid, whom I had fallen hopelessly in love with whilst on holiday one year with Kaz and he had conned me out of my £2000 life savings. I was confident that wouldn’t happen with Paul as he was well off anyway.
    The meeting was declared closed. My task was to get a date with Paul. ‘Once you’ve got him, then we step in,’ said Kaz. ‘Before that, it’s up to you.’
     
    ***
    An email flashed up on my screen from Kazza the next morning. I put down the
    model portfolio I was looking through and clicked the mouse. There it was, the minutes of the first meeting.
     
    PROGRESS REPORTS
     
    * The word husband was described to Tash who said she now understood.
    Tash to be tested at the next meeting.
     
    * Tash’s blind date. Tash is having second thoughts about her blind date - the best friend of a guy she knows from school - even though he does have a floppy fringe.
     
    *A strategy was discussed for Kazza’s works do. Kazza had been after James from work for ages, but so far no good, because he had a live-in girlfriend. There was a split vote as to whether she should pounce on him or not. Bee and Tash argued not - as a virtually married man takes a lot more work. But Rach and Soph decided it was a challenge worth taking.
     
    * HHC to make voodoo doll of work bloke’s girlfriend for Kazza.
    Kazza got very excited at this suggestion and even wanted the doll to be put on top of her computer at work. We pointed out that she didn’t want James to see her as some weirdo stalking freak who might start boiling the girlfriend’s hamster. We agreed she could keep it on her dressing table at home.
     
    * Soph’s school reunion was discussed and a list of her old school friends (male and good-looking only) to be put together.
     
    * Paul Hardman’s return from holiday is imminent. Bee to make herself available on whatever night he wants to go out.
     
    * Soph’s wedding. Obviously as the first bride to be, the wedding was discussed.
    Soph stated she had seen two potential men this week - a man in a tractor and
    some bloke in Kentucky Fried Chicken (he had five stars on his name badge, so Soph thought he must be a good prospect.)
     
    * Will Paul Hardman turn gay? Given Bee’s track record this is a distinct possibility. Bee therefore to rush him down the aisle before he announces he’s having a sex change.
     
    * Rules for avoiding lesbianism were concocted. Kazza’s concerns had thrown everyone into a mild panic. It was decided the following steps needed to be taken.
    1. No one should have any extra body piercing. Rach even decided she would take her second earrings out.
    2. Shaved heads were a definite no.
    3. Wear lots of pink
    4. Do not leave stable boots outside the doorstep. We were all bemused at that one, which was Tash’s suggestion. But she assured us that the hefty Doc Marten type boots we all used for mucking out could be interpreted as female biker type clothing.
    5. Accessorise. Rach decided she might put the second earrings back in after all.
     
    It had been a good meeting, I mused afterwards, as I flicked half-heartedly through our list of models. I was trying to find a suitable candidate for a shoot the following week for a jeans commercial. But my mind just wasn’t on the job that morning. It was full of last night’s meeting. Would the Husband Hunters work? Would this be the year when I would actually find myself with a decent boyfriend for once in my life? I was pinning all my