The Hairball of Horror! Read Free Page B

the side
door dropped down and Baldy crept along the side of the ship.
    The Russian Blue army gave a disappointed hiss at the sight of the hairless servant. But then he began cranking down the cargo door and their yellow eyes fixed on a dazzling light inside the
ship.

    The Spacemutts watched too and swallowed hard when quaking footfalls stomped to the edge of the cargo-hold and a colossal silhouette filled the bright doorway.
    ‘I was hoping you three would show up!’ boomed a familiar voice.
    A mechanical monster leaped from the ship and landed on two feet like a human giant, but inside the chest sat Lady Fluffkins, moving the robotic limbs with levers! Baldy hopped on to the metal
frame and began climbing up while his cackling mistress lumbered down the hill and staggered towards the prisoners, a sea of blue cats parting in her wake.

    The Persian moved her fluffy white paw over a lever and a mechanical claw grabbed the three dogs by their collars, lifting them up to her eye level. Above the empress, Baldy appeared in time to
flick on a pair of headlights to better illuminate the dogs.
    ‘Put us down, you metal monstrosity,’ growled Rocket, wriggling to free himself from the grip of the giant claw.

    ‘Oh, I’ll put you down,’ chuckled Fluffkins, her second claw spinning on the end of her metal arm like a giant drill. ‘And this time I’ll make sure you stay
down!’
    The empress used the spinning tool to drill three holes into the ground before dropping the dogs in one by one. She then took two steps back and hissed an abrupt order in Russian. The blue cats
immediately surrounded the holes, turned their backs on the Spacemutts and began kicking up hairballs with their hind legs, filling in the holes until the three dogs were buried up to their
necks.

    Rocket, Butch and Poppy tried to dig their way out of their hairball prison, but their bodies were packed in so tightly they could only move their heads. The captain didn’t even have a
free paw to activate his collar and send an SOS to WOOF.

    ‘Now that’s what I call a captive audience,’ chuckled Lady Fluffkins, teasing her prisoners and making the cat army purr as they poured around her metal ankles. ‘And what
an amazing show we have for you tonight!’
    ‘A show?’ frowned Poppy.

    growled Rocket.

    drooled Butch.
    ‘Of course not, you stupid fleabags!’ hissed the empress, pointing a mechanical claw towards the bright blue ball that was glowing far in the distance. ‘I’m giving you
all front row seats for the total destruction of planet Earth!’
    ‘About that,’ said the captain. ‘I’m afraid we’ve already foiled your plan.’
    ‘Really?’ hissed the empress, flinging her metal arms in the air dramatically as they passed by a red planet. ‘Because that looks like Mars to me, which means the hungry
hairball will impact Earth in less than twenty minutes.’

    ‘It won’t get anywhere near Earth,’ said Rocket.
    ‘A well-placed bomb is set to detonate in ten minutes’ time, sending your horrid hairball off course and straight into the surface of the sun.’
    ‘HA! HA! HA!’ laughed the empress, clapping her metal claws.
    ‘What’s so funny?’ asked the Spacemutts.
    ‘This has worked out even better than I’d hoped,’ chuckled Lady Fluffkins. ‘When the hairball hits the sun and takes you three along with it, Earth will be mine for the
taking and there will be no more meddling mutts to stop me!’
    ‘T-t-time is getting on, M-M-Mistress,’ stammered Baldy, deciding that interrupting his mistress in mid-rant was only slightly less perilous than a fiery death on the surface of the
sun.

    ‘I’m quite aware of that, you feline abomination,’ said the Persian, smiling at the three doggy heads glaring up at her. ‘It is time for me to flee this flea-filled
hairball and begin planning a brand new phase two.’
    ‘Phase two, M-M-Mistress?’ said Baldy.
    ‘Yes,’ hissed Fluffkins. ‘The merciless invasion