The Great Smelling Bee Read Free Page A

I muttered. “Well, there he is now.” I pointed. “Now take a lesson, guys. Watch Bernie go to work. Hide behind that tree and watch how it’s done.”
    Feenman grabbed my arm. “He won’t buy, Bernie. Sherman won’t buy a raffle ticket if he doesn’t know the prize.”
    â€œJust watch,” I said. “I’ll make Sherman beg me to sell him some raffle tickets! He’ll beg !”
    I rubbed my hands together, thinking about how I’d handle Sherman Oaks.
    â€œHey, Sherman!” I shouted. “Sherman! Wait up!”

Chapter 7
S HERMAN O AKS H AS A P ET
    Sherman turned and flashed me his perfect, gleaming smile. I gazed at the smooth, blond hair, his crisply starched school uniform, his deep tan, his sparkling blue eyes, the sneer on his thin lips.
    He wore an ostrich-skin backpack with the price tag still on it—$300. He had a platinum iPod in his blazer pocket.
    Still grinning at me, he pulled off the ear pieces. “Bernie,” he said, “I hear you’re hiding two pets in your dorm room.”

    My pets arrived half an hour ago! How did he find out? How did my biggest enemy on earth find out my biggest secret?
    I grabbed my head. I felt dizzy. My stomach rocked. And rolled. I was sick. SICK!

    â€œPets? I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said. “What is up with all these false rumors about me?”
    Sherman’s ugly grin grew wider. “In Nyce House, we like to follow the rules,” he said. “It keeps us out of trouble. Know what I mean?”
    Was he threatening me? Was he threatening to tell Headmaster Upchuck about my pets?
    Sherman stuck out his hand to shake hands. “I just want to say good-bye, Bernie. This might be the last time I see you. I mean, if I should accidentally tell Headmaster Upchuck about your pets…”
    Uh-oh. He was threatening me!
    â€œWhy would I have pets?” I said. “I’m allergic to them. Just the word makes me itch. Look. Look. Don’t say that word! I’m itching all over.” I went into a scratching fit, scratching every part of my body.
    â€œYou need a pet like mine, Bernie,” Sherman said. He pointed to a hunk of shiny metal at his feet.
    â€œI don’t believe this,” I said. “Now you’ve got your own personal trash can!”
    â€œIt’s a digital robot pet,” Sherman said. “It costone thousand dollars. My parents sent it to me because they think they can buy my love with expensive, shiny toys.”
    I stared at the thing. It was kinda shaped like a cat.
    â€œWatch this,” Sherman said. He took out a thin remote controller and aimed it at the metal pet. “Say hello, Money. Say hello to Bernie.”
    â€œMoney?” I said. “You named your pet Money ?”
    â€œYeah. Cute name, isn’t it?” Sherman pushed some buttons on the controller. “Say hello, Money.”
    The little robot squeaked, “Mee-ow. Mee-ow.”
    Sherman laughed. “Isn’t that totally fabulous? Now watch this.” He pushed more buttons.
    The robot pet ran around the grass in a big circle. Then it rolled over. Then it jumped into the air a few times and wagged its metal tail.
    Sherman laughed. He got down on his knees to pet the thing. “Good boy! Good, Money! Good!” He looked up at me. “See? This pet won’t get me in trouble.”
    â€œLet me try it,” I said. I took the remote from him. I pushed a few buttons.
    The metal cat grabbed Sherman’s face with its paws, latched on tight, and began to squeeze.
    â€œOww! Bernie! Stop it!” he screamed. “Stop it! Ow! It’s hurting me!”
    I stared at the controller. “I’m just no good at these things,” I said. “How do you work it? I can’t ever figure these things out.”
    â€œStop it! Get it OFF me!” Sherman howled.
    â€œIt’s so confusing,” I said, shaking