like this.”
I could sense him standing close to me. I could feel his breath on the back of my head. His arms wrapped around me gently and he rested his chin in the crook of my neck.
“Please,” he whispered.
I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feel of his arms around me, despite knowing it was wrong. Sensing me relax, he tightened his embrace and kissed my neck softly. “Don’t shut me out,” he repeated, his voice so quiet I could barely hear it.
He turned me around to face him and wrapped his arms around me, my head resting against his chest. I inhaled his scent, relaxing even more.
“Penny for your thoughts?” he asked.
I responded by just shaking my head ‘no’ against his chest.
“C’mon, Zoe. What’s bothering you? Talk to me.”
“I guess I’m just lonely,” I whispered.
He kissed the top of my head.
“Boggs is so distant. And so are you,” I continued.
Gus took a deep breath, and then pushed away from me gently so that he could look at my face. “We’ll talk about it all tomorrow, ok?”
“I should go to bed,” was all I said, my mind filled with my promise to share a bed with Boggs. That, and I was too tired to have an in depth conversation.
“Ok. Sleep well.”
“Night, Gus.”
He moved his hand up to my chin, tilting my face up toward his. He leaned down and placed his warm lips on mine. It was a gentle kiss. My stomach dropped for just a moment, expecting it to turn into something more. Instead, Gus let go of me and walked back to the fire.
I walked to the makeshift shelter and climbed under the wool blankets, next to Boggs. I listened to his breathing, trying to decide if he was asleep yet. The bigger part of me hoped not.
“Everything ok out there?” he whispered.
“Ya.”
I felt the air mattress move as he stirred, rolling toward me. “Thanks for telling me about the baby moving, Zo.”
I smiled in the dark. “Well, it is yours too.”
“I know, but I appreciate you keeping me in the loop. Is it moving right now?” he asked.
“Not now. It feels weird when it does.”
“Is it ok if I hold you?” His voice sounded weak, almost defeated.
“Ok.”
He wrapped an arm around me. I rested my head near his neck and let him hold me close. Something about him was different, an overall tenseness that was barely perceptible. Even so, he felt so incredibly familiar, as if my arms and my entire body had been missing something that was as memorable to me as my own skin. I inhaled his scent, which rocked me to the core of my being. I hadn’t realized just how much I had felt his absence until that moment. It was a high beyond any I had known before, followed by the low of realizing that I was holding onto him with desperation, sensing that I would be losing him once again. I had the urge to cling to him as hard as I could and to smell him for as long as he’d let me, because I may not always have the chance. I was memorizing the sensation. My soul filled with a melancholy joy. He was mine, at least in that moment.
CHAPTER 2
When I woke the next morning, I could hear the crackling of the campfire. I felt as if I had slept for hours and had a renewed sense of contentment. I stretched while listening for the usual chatter of the girls, but heard nothing aside from the flames consuming wood. I was suddenly hesitant about being alone with Gus, after sharing a bed with Boggs overnight.
I put on my figurative ‘big girl panties,’ climbed out of bed, and left the shelter. The sky was overcast and the day was promising to be cold. As always, a breeze was blowing. I pulled my messy hair back into a ponytail, and walked toward the fire. I sat on my favorite log to soak up the warmth, wondering where Gus was. Before long, I heard footfalls coming up beside me. I turned and smiled at Gus.
“Morning,” I said.
“Hey Darlin’. Sleep well?”
I nodded. “I did.”
“Looks
I could sense him standing close to me. I could feel his breath on the back of my head. His arms wrapped around me gently and he rested his chin in the crook of my neck.
“Please,” he whispered.
I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feel of his arms around me, despite knowing it was wrong. Sensing me relax, he tightened his embrace and kissed my neck softly. “Don’t shut me out,” he repeated, his voice so quiet I could barely hear it.
He turned me around to face him and wrapped his arms around me, my head resting against his chest. I inhaled his scent, relaxing even more.
“Penny for your thoughts?” he asked.
I responded by just shaking my head ‘no’ against his chest.
“C’mon, Zoe. What’s bothering you? Talk to me.”
“I guess I’m just lonely,” I whispered.
He kissed the top of my head.
“Boggs is so distant. And so are you,” I continued.
Gus took a deep breath, and then pushed away from me gently so that he could look at my face. “We’ll talk about it all tomorrow, ok?”
“I should go to bed,” was all I said, my mind filled with my promise to share a bed with Boggs. That, and I was too tired to have an in depth conversation.
“Ok. Sleep well.”
“Night, Gus.”
He moved his hand up to my chin, tilting my face up toward his. He leaned down and placed his warm lips on mine. It was a gentle kiss. My stomach dropped for just a moment, expecting it to turn into something more. Instead, Gus let go of me and walked back to the fire.
I walked to the makeshift shelter and climbed under the wool blankets, next to Boggs. I listened to his breathing, trying to decide if he was asleep yet. The bigger part of me hoped not.
“Everything ok out there?” he whispered.
“Ya.”
I felt the air mattress move as he stirred, rolling toward me. “Thanks for telling me about the baby moving, Zo.”
I smiled in the dark. “Well, it is yours too.”
“I know, but I appreciate you keeping me in the loop. Is it moving right now?” he asked.
“Not now. It feels weird when it does.”
“Is it ok if I hold you?” His voice sounded weak, almost defeated.
“Ok.”
He wrapped an arm around me. I rested my head near his neck and let him hold me close. Something about him was different, an overall tenseness that was barely perceptible. Even so, he felt so incredibly familiar, as if my arms and my entire body had been missing something that was as memorable to me as my own skin. I inhaled his scent, which rocked me to the core of my being. I hadn’t realized just how much I had felt his absence until that moment. It was a high beyond any I had known before, followed by the low of realizing that I was holding onto him with desperation, sensing that I would be losing him once again. I had the urge to cling to him as hard as I could and to smell him for as long as he’d let me, because I may not always have the chance. I was memorizing the sensation. My soul filled with a melancholy joy. He was mine, at least in that moment.
CHAPTER 2
When I woke the next morning, I could hear the crackling of the campfire. I felt as if I had slept for hours and had a renewed sense of contentment. I stretched while listening for the usual chatter of the girls, but heard nothing aside from the flames consuming wood. I was suddenly hesitant about being alone with Gus, after sharing a bed with Boggs overnight.
I put on my figurative ‘big girl panties,’ climbed out of bed, and left the shelter. The sky was overcast and the day was promising to be cold. As always, a breeze was blowing. I pulled my messy hair back into a ponytail, and walked toward the fire. I sat on my favorite log to soak up the warmth, wondering where Gus was. Before long, I heard footfalls coming up beside me. I turned and smiled at Gus.
“Morning,” I said.
“Hey Darlin’. Sleep well?”
I nodded. “I did.”
“Looks
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