THE GIFT Read Free Page A

add a broken heart to the list of things she would take years to heal from. Why couldn’t she just had died with him? They would still be together that way and she wouldn’t be laying here, blind and helpless to do anything about what was happening to her, what had happened to him, what was happening to their friends.

Chapter Three
     
     
    “Amanda? Are you going to answer that?” The sound of Haruka’s voice jarred Amanda from her thoughts. She had been so engrossed in remembering the events that had led to her current world of darkness that she hadn’t even heard the phone ringing. Pushing the button on her headset, she spoke quietly and calmly into the microphone near her mouth.
    “Hello. My name is Amanda. How may I help you?” she said.
    “I have been thinking about killing myself for the past three weeks and I wanted to talk to someone about it,” came a man’s voice on the other line.
    “Then you have seriously thought about ending your life?” Amanda responded. This wasn’t her first suicide call and they most often just needed someone to care enough to tell them not to do it.
    “I’ve thought about it but I wouldn’t do it before. Somehow, today, it does seem more like a good idea,” he responded.
    “What is different about today that makes it seem like a good time to take your life? Have you made a plan?” Amanda inquired.
    “My fiancée just died. She has been sick for months and I’ve been thinking that maybe when the time came, I should join her. The time came just now,” he told her.
    “I am sorry about your loss. Losing someone you love is never easy. Is this the first time you have thought about doing something like this? Have you ever attempted suicide before?” Amanda asked.
    “No, I haven’t tried to kill myself. It seems so hard, but I just feel so alone now and there are things that I didn’t do right. I’ll never get the chance to change that or make it up to her,” he told her. His voice was quiet, filled with melancholy. It sounded as if he might burst into tears at any moment.
    “Okay. You feel alone, but you don’t think you’re going to try to kill yourself. Is that right?” Amanda asked him, trying to put his feelings into perspective for him so that he could focus on something other than his pain.
    “I don’t know. I guess so. I just don’t want to be here without her. All of this is just so wrong. It isn’t fair to her,” he replied, choking back tears now.
    “I know that it is hard to lose someone you care about. There isn’t much anyone can say that makes it better, but I can tell you that time does have a way of healing those wounds. You just can’t do anything rash before you’ve given yourself a chance to get past these roughest moments,” she told him.
    “Maybe. I don’t know,” he said.
    “Your fiancée, would she have wanted you to end your life because hers was over? Surely, she would want you to enjoy your life and honor her memory instead? I can’t believe she would want what you’re considering for yourself,” Amanda continued.
    “No, you’re right. She wouldn’t have. She told me she wanted me to be happy,” he said, stifling more tears.
    “Then, that is how you will best cope with your loss. You should do all the things she would have wanted you to do. You should go on and enjoy those things that you would miss out on if you allow yourself to die with her. You’re still alive. You still have a lot of time left to do whatever you long to do. Do you have any family or a pet? What about friends you can talk to?” Amanda asked.
    “I have a dog,” he told her.
    “What will happen to your dog if you aren’t here to take care of him?” Amanda asked.
    “I...I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it,” he replied. Amanda could tell from his hesitation that he was considering what would become of his beloved pet after he was gone. It was a tactic they often used to steer people away from the problem and onto something more