The Foul Mouth and the Fanged Lady Read Free Page B

yes. Fuck you, bitch , I know.
That mouth is going to get you killed one day, King Henry. You’re
thinking, what do I care? But that’s only from the
assumption on your part that the world is as safe as you assume it is. Safe to steal, safe to have a girlfriend
giving you those mighty three minute grunting and humping sessions,
safe to get into fights with whomever, whenever.
    “A world where all you have to worry about
is a mother that wants free from her psychosis and a father that
has never been able to control you. What the world really is . . .
is a dangerous world most never bother to see, a one in
ten-thousand world, a one in a quarter million world. A world where
a woman can vaporize herself past a door and five minutes later
stick a ball of air into your mouth to . . . Shut. You. Up. For.
Once.”
    Douchebag showoff aeromancers.
    Fourteen-year-old-me stayed silent—not by
choice—and considered what she’d said. Strings be multiplying.
    Ceinwyn Dale flipped a page of the comic
with a nimble finger. “The Institution of Elements is a neutral
faction within that world, King Henry. It seeks to find the
special few and train them for the world as a whole. This
includes a normal education and a one in ten-thousand education. It
is not an easy ride but if you survive it, you’ll survive quite a
lot. You’ll be able to make something of yourself and . . . you’ll
be able to escape your parents’ fate. Stuck in a small life with
little money and shackled by children you hate just as much as you
love.”
    The ball of air in my mouth dissolved in a
puff of smoke. “What’s it like?” I asked, finally interested.
    Maybe if I’d been older I’d have questioned
her more about ‘ magic ’ existing, but after the demonstration
I took it at face value. There is something in the Mancy that calls
us to it. I could escape a crappy life but I couldn’t escape it.
The Mancy is the biggest string of all.
    “It will change you.” Ceinwyn Dale smiled.
Least reassuring smile I’d ever seen up to that point. It’s still
top ten. “You won’t like all of it, but certain lessons will open
you up like a butterfly, something new and beautiful and true to
itself.”
    I got up on the bed and sat next to her.
Butterfly . . . not exactly the best metaphor to use on me but I
got the image. “So it’s like Hogwarts kind of?” Between three
minute grunting and humping sessions as Ceinwyn Dale called
them—though to my credit they were actually five minute
grunting and humping sessions—the girlfriend liked to read books
aloud to me, usually as I smoked a post-sex cigarette out her
window.
    For the first time I heard Ceinwyn Dale
laugh, a short and quick ‘ ha! ’ That’s all I ever hear from
her. A quick ‘ ha! ’ A bark, you could call it. Never real
laughter you can’t control.
    “I’m not some friendly giant, King Henry.
The Institution of Elements isn’t a fairy castle. There will not be
magical duels or trips to town to try steaming candy or Christmas
vacations. You may write your family, that’s all. Other than that,
you’ll be stuck. Seven days a week without a way to escape us for
four years if you’re a one in ten-thousand kind of person, seven
years if you’re a quarter million kind. We’ll break you . . . we’ll
forge you . . . we’ll make you a mancer.”
    “A mancer?” I already liked the name. Like
she’d said, it made you feel special. Every kid wants to feel
special. Every grown-up too. Of course, I was already imagining
many things about the Mancy which didn’t happen. Spell after spell,
throwing around fire and lighting.
    Bullshit.
    It takes about a minute to focus enough
anima into a ‘ conjuration of magnetism ’ on yourself, more
for something outward, usually much more. As a weapon in a straight
up fight the Mancy is often useless. Preparation is its weakness,
but over the years stories get spread and imagination goes bonkers.
For example: over 1500 years ago in Britain you might