The First Lost Tale of Mercia: Golde the Mother Read Free Page A

Eadric crossed his arms.
“I want to go with him.”
    “You what? ”
    Eadric set his mouth stubbornly.
    “Absolutely not, Eadric! I left him in the
first place to keep you far from his wily ways.”
    His stern expression cracked somewhat, giving
way to puzzlement. “What do you mean, ‘left’ him?”
    Golde looked away, suddenly feeling a painful
ache in her head. She had lived openly with Alfric once, running to
his side whenever he tired of his wife. Those days had been strange
for her, and were probably as close she would ever come to living a
courtly life. She had met a few important nobles and wealthy thegns
of Mercia during her stays in the manor. They all knew she was
little better than a whore, and most of them had used her as such,
but she was surprised by the inclusion they gave her compared to
most women. She wondered whether her shamelessness and openness in
her way of life gave her an unusual status in their eyes. When King
Ethelred sacked Rochester and cast out Alfric the first time, she
had run to Hunwald for shelter, still wearing a soft linen dress
decked with beads and embroidery. The swineherd had taken her for
some sort of noblewoman and she had let him believe it. He had not
asked any questions when her belly swelled and she gave birth to
what was obviously a bastard. She nearly died that day, and he
could have let her, giving himself two less mouths to feed. Instead
he sent for a midwife to help bring Eadric into the world.
    She had dreaded the day she would have to
explain any of her past to Eadric. She wanted to go on living as if
it had never happened. She had let him assume, to whatever extent
he could understand the situation, that Hunwald was his
father—although he clearly doubted this, and had said as much to
Alfric. She had even let him believe that she and Hunwald were
husband and wife, though she never stated as much. How could she
explain the complexities of her situation to a boy like Eadric? She
had been close to another man before leaving the ealdorman’s manor,
as well: a wealthy swineherd named Wulfric, who was something of
Alfric’s friend. How could she tell Eadric with any dignity that
she did not even know which one was his father?
    Unfortunately, Eadric was too smart for his
own good. He watched Golde’s face closely. “Tell me, Mother! Could
we go with Alfric, too? Could I live with Algar?”
    Algar was Alfric’s legitimate son, only a
little older than Eadric. The two boys had encountered each other a
few times while Alfric was away and enjoyed playing together. For a
moment Golde wanted to explain everything to Eadric, but found she
could not. Her shoulders sagged with the weight of the burden she
was unwilling to release.
    “I want to wear nice tunics like Algar, and
cloaks with pretty brooches, and when I’m older, a swordbelt.”
Eadric was getting carried away with these notions, and she could
see in his eyes that he would keep dreaming if she let him.
    “Stop it, Eadric. The cost for those things
is very dear, and it is better to forget them. Forget Lord Alfric,
forget about Algar, and silly brooches! Go to bed, and don’t say
another word about them.”
    She hoped she had given the right advice, but
she feared she had not as Eadric scowled fiercely and stormed off
to his cot. He kicked off his boots, but nothing else, before
plopping down on the hard floor and turning away from her.
    Her heart was heavy as she joined Hunwald in
silence at the table. Together, they tried to clean up the mess
Alfric had left behind.
    At last they all laid down in the dark and
were blanketed by a heavy silence. She wished they could all go to
sleep that night and wake up to a morning like any other, but she
already knew they would not. She listened to the sound of her own
fast breathing, unable to go to sleep no matter how desperately she
wished to.
    She looked over at Hunwald’s form, turned
away in the darkness, and wondered if he truly slept. She wondered
whether he saw her