The Fear Trials Read Free

neck.
    He is the same way now, when he hears the news about my brother’s failure. But it is not Koi who must train with him this time.
    It is me. Because now the weight of our world is on my shoulders. The key to our survival is in my hands.
    I swim around the houseboat, and he teaches me how to deal with real pain. There are nanites in our bodies, connected to a Pulse at the Perimeter that keeps them working. The nanites heal us, keep us alive and healthy.
    â€œYou’ll need to learn how to stay alert when you’re injured,” my father says. He’s sitting in the dinghy above me.
    â€œHow?” I ask.
    He pulls out his dagger and sinks the blade into my shoulder.
    I scream. The world blurs. I fight to stay afloat, because the pain is fierce and threatens to suck me under. When he pulls the dagger out, I almost lose it. I can feel blood pouring from my shoulder, pooling around me in the water.
    â€œImagine if I’d put that blade through your heart,” my father says. “The nanites wouldn’t be able to heal you, then.”
    In minutes, the wound will close up, just like they always do.
    My father pulls me into the dinghy. He lets me catch my breath. The flow of blood slows to a trickle. There will always be a mark.
    â€œLet that scar be a reminder that death will always chase you,” my father whispers. He clutches the oar so tightly in his hands I’m afraid it is going to snap. “To escape it, you must respect it.”
    â€œI will never respect death,” I say.
    He sighs. “This world is eating away at your mother’s sanity. I know you see it, too. Someday soon she could be gone. I’ll die eventually, and it will be on your shoulders to feed your brother and sister. You are their last hope.”
    I nod. There is nothing to say. Because he is right.
    â€œTomorrow we’ll start your Fear Trials. You’ll learn to defend yourself. You’ll learn that this world demands strength. And you’ll become strong so that you can provide for your brother and sister.”
    He wipes my blood from his dagger and sheathes it against his thigh.

Chapter 7
    T he Fear Trials begin at dawn.
    Peri is locked safely away in the bottom of the boat. My father and Koi are already on the bow. Koi won’t look at me. He just stares at his toes. He is a shadow of himself.
    â€œWhat do you know about The Fear Trials?” my father asks.
    I lean against the railing. “I know it’s an excuse for you to train me even more. As if we don’t do that enough already.”
    â€œ Meadow ,” Koi warns, shaking his head. My father glares at him, and he looks back down at his toes.
    â€œIt’s a chance for you to prove yourself,” says my father. “And—” he unsheathes his dagger and drops it to the deck between us— “an opportunity for a prize.”
    â€œYour dagger?” I ask.
    It is my father’s favorite possession. The weapon that he swears has kept him alive for so long. He smiles. “If you win the Fear Trials, you will win the dagger. I want you to have it.”
    I have never even been able to touch it. I have never even had a weapon of my own.
    Koi and I follow him down the rope ladder and settle into the dinghy. My father hands Koi the oars.
    As Koi rows, he stares out at the waves. “If I’d trained harder, I might have been able to . . . I’d be working today. I wouldn’t be here.”
    â€œDon’t,” I say. I grab his hands and squeeze them tight. “It’s over and done.”
    I should be angry at him. I should be furious, the way my father is, and a part of me wants that anger. But Koi is my brother. He is soft and gentle and he smiles the way Peri does, with the innocence of a child. He is a light in the darkness, and I love him. Nothing could ever take that away.
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    There is a jetty on the far side of the beach, an expanse of rock that juts out into the ocean