The Duchesss Tattoo Read Free Page B

embarrassed, has little or no conversation, and needs to be helped, lifted. The English young man has not the helpful qualities that characterize the typical American masher, and, in consequence, the two present, as I have often seen them, a very helpless combination. Then the American girl comes along, prettier than her English sister, full of dash, and snap, and go, sprightly, dazzling, and audacious, and she is a revelation to the Englishman. She gives him more pleasure in one hour, at a dinner or ball, than he thought the universe could produce in a whole life-time. Speedily he comes to the conclusion that he must marry her or die. As a rule he belongs to an old and historic family, is well educated, traveled, and polished, but poor. He knows nothing of business, and to support his estate requires an increased income. The American girl whom he gets acquainted with has that income, so in marrying her he goes to heaven and gets—the earth.”

A Carefully Compiled List of Peers
    W HO ARE SUPPOSED TO BE EAGER TO LAY THEIR C ORONETS, AND INCIDENTALLY THEIR H EARTS, AT THE FEET OF THE ALL-CONQUERING A MERICAN G IRL.
    If one should give full credit to the bitter cry of the British-Matron-With-A-Lot-of-Marriageable-Daughters, he would imagine that there were no more any eligible bachelors to be found between Land’s End and John O’Groat’s; that Belgravia was an Adamless Eden, and Mayfair suffering from a modern version of the Rape of the Sabines, with that part of the Sabines assumed by the British Young Man and that of the Romans by the American Girl. For the sake of international comity, however, we are glad to be able to assure our readers that this is not so. Diligent search by a corps of experienced explorers reveals a goodly number of Britannia’s sons who have not yet bowed the knee to Miss Columbia. The following catalogue of them is printed, not, of course, to hold up offers of coronets before American eyes, but to vindicate our country-women against the charges of wholesale spoliation. The list comprises all sorts and conditions of “eligible parties,” from Dukes of prophyrogenous degree and fortunes that would make old Crcesus seem a pauper, down to the poor little heirs to Baronies of yesterday’s creation whose income would make the merry iceman smile with pitying scorn. This publication will perhaps arouse the ambition of the American Girl with the prospect of other worlds to conquer; doubtless it will, as Pope prophetically wrote, “Cause hope to rise within Britannia’s breast. At thought her unwed daughters may e’en yet be blest.”

    The Right Hon. John Abercrombie.
    Eldest son and heir of Lord Abercrombie; forty-eight years old; educated at Harrow; formerly captain of the Rifle Brigade; divorced from Baroness von Heidenstam of Sweden; has no children.
    The entailed estates amount to 16,000 acres, yielding an income of $75,000.
    Family seats: Three Castles in Scotland.
    The Hon. Frederic Amherst.
    Eldest son and heir of the Earl of Amherst.
    The entailed estates amount to 25,600 acres, yielding an income of $200,000.
    The family is very wealthy, the two previous possessors of the title having received lands, pensions, and gifts from the Crown, to the amount of over $3,000,000.
    The Hon. Frederic is over fifty years old; he served with great distinction in the navy, and subsequently as captain of the 14th Hussars.

    Lord Ampthill
    Is second Baron, twenty years of age, and was educated at Eton. He has an income of $20,000; no landed estates. His father was the celebrated diplomatist, and belonged to the historical house of Russell. Lord Ampthill is closely related to the Duke of Bedford, Earl Russell, the Earl of Clarendon, etc.

    Lord Apsley.
    Eldest son and heir of the Earl of Bathurst.
    The entailed estates amount to 13,600 acres, yielding an income of $105,000.
    Lord Apsley is twenty-five years old, and was educated at Eton.
    Family seat: Cirencester.
    The