The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya Read Free Page A

up with anything better. Yes, it’s very becoming. Yes, indeed.”
    “Right?”
    Haruhi draped her arm around Asahina’s shoulder and rubbed her cheek against the flabbergasted Santa girl.
    “You’re so cute! Mikuru, you should be more confident in yourself. From now until the Christmas party, you’ll be the SOS Brigade’s very own Santa Claus. You’re qualified to hold that position!”
    “Eep.”
    Asahina released a pitiful squeal. Still, Haruhi was actually right for once. Nobody would argue that point, I thought, as I turned to look at Nagato. The petite, short-haired, reticent girl was still reading in silence.
    With a Santa hat on her head.
    After that, Haruhi had us all line up so she could address us.
    “Okay? This time of year, you can’t go running after a Santa when you spot one in the middle of town. They’re all fakes. The real one only appears at specific locations. Mikuru, you should be especially careful. Don’t accept any gifts from strange Santas or agree to anything they ask.”
    You shouldn’t be saying that after you forced Asahina to become a fake Santa.
    Don’t tell me that someone her age still believes, the way my little sister does, in an old man who volunteers internationally. I suppose it’s possible, when she still wishes on falling stars, but I had my doubts. After all, Saint Asahina was blessing us with her presence in the clubroom. Here we had a fake that transcended the original. What’s wrong with that? Ask for any more and complaints will come flying in from Scandinavia.
    I considered where you might find a shady source of capital for a lazy old man who worked only once a year.
    “So, Kyon. We’re going to have a full-blown Christmas party and all, but since I just came up with the idea so late, we can only celebrate the birthday of Christ this year. Next year we’ll have to hold birthday parties for Buddha and Muhammad as well, or it wouldn’t be fair.”
    Why don’t you celebrate the birthdays of the founders of Manichaeism and Zoroastrianism while you’re at it? They can only laugh bitterly from their perch above the clouds as a bunch of nonbelievers celebrate their birthdays. And since Haruhi will celebrate anything if it gives her an excuse to go crazy, it evens out in the end. Please limit any potential divine judgment to Haruhi. I barely have anything to do with this farce.
    As I tried to figure out which god I should direct my plea to, Haruhi sat down in the brigade chief’s seat.
    “What would you like? A hot pot? Sukiyaki? No crab. I can’t stand that stuff. I get all worked up when I have to pry the meat from the shell. Why aren’t crab shells edible? I’m tempted to say that there was a mistake in the evolutionary process.”
    That’s exactly why they have shells. They didn’t go through natural selection on the bottom of the ocean for you to eat them.
    Koizumi raised his hand before speaking.
    “We’ll need to place a reservation then. The Christmas seasonis fast approaching, so we must hurry before all the restaurants are booked full.”
    I really don’t want to go to any place he recommends. We’d be taking the risk of some bizarre restaurant owner character showing up in the middle of dinner to set off another messed-up murder comedy, which actually happened the last time Koizumi suggested an outing together.
    “Oh, you don’t have to worry about that,” Koizumi said.
    Haruhi shook her head with a smile. Maybe she was thinking the same thing I was. But she continued.
    “We’ll hold it here. We already have everything necessary. Just need food. Right, we should bring a rice cooker. And no alcohol allowed. I swore to never drink again.”
    I can think of some better things for you to swear off, but I believe you just said something that needs to be addressed first.
    “Hold it here?” I asked as I looked around the clubroom.
    Sure, the room was equipped with a pot and a portable gas stove. And we even had a fridge enshrined. The above