your thoughts on the subject?â
âWhat subject?â she said, and flushed deeply when he merely raised his eyebrows. âI have no thoughts, Dom. It is nothing to me.â
âMadeline,â he said, âthis is your twin, remember?â
âWell, then,â she said, suddenly finding it necessary to examine her nieceâs fingers with minute care, âI will be glad if he comes. I will be glad to see him. And then finally it will all be over, and I can concentrate all my attention on Jason. I am quite in love with him, you know.â
âYou were quite in love with Purnell,â he said, âbut quite against your will, I remember. You did not choose to love him, as you seem to have chosen to love Huxtable. And you did not forget him easily, did you? Or forget him ever, for that matter.â
âI never loved him,â she said quietly, looking up into her brotherâs eyes. âI hated him. I disliked him. I feared him. I didnât love him, Dom. Not at all. It was an obsession. And nothing will have changed in four years. I want to see him again, thatâs all. I need to see him again so that I can prove to myself that it was a foolish obsession of the past. And I want happiness, Dom. I am tired of being alone. I want children, like you and Edmund.â
âAll right,â he said. âDonât upset yourself, Mad. I was not teasing you. I want you to be happy too, it may surprise you to know. And I remember Huxtable as a thoroughly worthy character.â
âAnyway,â she said quietly, âperhaps he will not come. Olivia is getting restless, Dom. What shall I do?â
He laughed. âI think only Ellen can do the doing,â he said, turning to smile at his wife, who was approaching them. âPerhaps Olivia can have a meal in peace for once, if Charles continues to sleep. He is quite ferocious when he is hungry. It is going to be difficult to persuade this one that a prime gentlemanly virtue is allowing a lady to go first.â
Madeline reluctantly gave up the baby to her sister-in-law and watched the two of them leave the room. She sighed inwardly and glanced at her twin, whose attention was focused on the baby in his arms. She had still not quite adjusted her mind to the fact that Dominic was married and the father of two. And seemingly perfectly happy and domesticated.
They had been restless together for several years and like each other in their enthusiasms and tendency to fall in love routinely and out of love before any marriage could be contracted. And then he had met Ellen when she was still married to his best friend, and married her himself only months after her husband was killed at the Battle of Waterloo. Ellen was perfect for him. And he was happy, and therefore she was happy.
But sometimes there was a dreadful feeling of loneliness. A loneliness she hid, as she had always done, in increased activity and gaiety. This was perhaps her busiest and brightest Season yet.
But she loved Jason Huxtable. And she would be happy with him. He was a man and not a boy. The year before she had betrothed herself to Allan Penworth and broken off the engagement in the autumn. But that was excusable. He had been wounded in battle and she had nursed him back to health. They had both mistaken their dependence on each other for love.
This was different. There was no dependence on either side. They were both strong and independent individuals. It was real love. She had drawn back from accepting Jasonâs offer only because she had made so many mistakes in the past. But she would accept him before the
summer was out. She was six and twenty. If she did not marry soon, she never would. And she would hate to go through life without the experience of marriage and motherhood.
She wished James Purnell were not coming. It was not fair. It had taken her months, perhaps years, to recover from his leaving. It was not fair that he should come back now to throw