that there was never anything to do in Wirrawee? Definitely no nightclubs. We had that Year 9 disco but we never got around to having another one. It was good fun, but."
"Yes. You and I had a dance."
"We did? I don't remember that."
"I do."
He said it with such feeling, and his hand tightened so hard on mine that I was startled. I tried to look at his face, but couldn't make out his expression in the darkness.
"You remember it that well?"
"You were sitting with Corrie, under the premiership flag. You were holding a drink with one hand and fanning yourself with the other. You were red in the face and laughing. It was pretty hot in there and you'd been dancing with Steve. I'd been wanting to ask you since I'd got thereâthat was the only reason I went in the first placeâbut I didn't have the guts. Then suddenly I found myself walking towards you without even knowing how I'd started. It was like I'd become a robot. I asked you and you just looked at me for a sec while I felt like a complete idiot, and wondered which tactful way you'd find to say no. Then without saying anything you gave Corrie the can of drink and you got up and we had our dance. I was hoping for a long slow song but it
was 'Convicted of Love.' Not too romantic. Then at the end Corrie dragged you off to the dunnies and that was the end of it."
My hand had become damp and sweaty, but so had Lee's I think. It was hard to tell whose hand was providing the damp. I just couldn't believe what I was hearing. Had Lee really felt that way about me for so long? Unbelievable, wonderful.
"Lee! You're so ... Why didn't you tell me all this ages ago?"
"I don't know," he mumbled, shutting all his words in again, as quickly as he'd let them out.
"You've seemed so ... I never know whether you really care or not."
"I care, Ellie. It's just that I care about other things too; mainly my family. I get so exhausted thinking about them that there's no room for anything else."
"I know. Do I ever know. But we can't deep-freeze our lives until our families get out. We have to keep living, and that means thinking and feeling and ... and just advancing! Do you know what I mean?"
"I know it. Only it's hard to do it sometimes."
We were passing the Church of Christ at the edge of Wirrawee. Homer and Robyn, who were ahead, had stopped and we waited with them for Fi and Chris, who'd fallen a little behind. From now on there would be no more talk of emotions, and liking each other. I had to put away my amazement at the strength and depth of Lee's feelings. We had to be completely alert, concentrating. This was a war zone, and we were going into the heart of it. There must have been a hundred or
more soldiers just in little Wirrawee, and every one of them would want to kill us if they could, especially after what we had done to their buddies.
Each of our three pairs separated, one person to each side of the street. I was on the right, Lee on the left. We waited until the dark figures of Homer and Robyn had been gone sixty seconds, then we followed. We went along Warrigle Road, with the Mathers' house on the ridge above us. I wondered how Robyn would feel as she passed it. We turned into Honey Street, as we'd agreed, and crept along the footpath. There were still no lights in this part of Wirrawee and I caught only occasional glimpses of Lee. I saw nothing of the other four, and could only hope that we were all going at the same speed. Honey Street at least seemed normal enough, except for a wrecked car crushed up against a telegraph pole. It was a dark blue car, which made it hard to see, and I nearly walked into it myself. As usual my mind started wandering: I began wondering how I'd explain it to the cops if I had a collision with a parked car..."Well Sergeant, I was going east along Honey Street, doing about four k's, when I suddenly saw the car right in front of me. I hit the brakes and veered to the right, but I struck the vehicle a glancing blow on its right-hand